by Beks
My husband works a lot. He works days and nights and I do what odd jobs I can to help pay our bills more quickly.
We don’t see each other often. Perhaps that’s why our marriage is so great. We don’t have time to fight – heck we’re just so darn excited to see one another we don’t really… um… talk much.
He took a rare three nights off last week and we went running and cycling together every day. We made dinner. We walked the dogs. We watched movies. We remembered what it was like to be married.
I couldn’t help but think about how wonderful it was to have him around – to see him relax, even for just a night or two. He must have been thinking the same thing. He said, ‘I want to work less and live my life more.’ He has decided to work 6 days per week and 2 nights per week – and yes, that’s a cut-back (he was working 6 days and 6 nights).
I can’t agree with him more. As he toils to pay our debt, I can’t help but wonder if our self-inflicted punishment of hard labor is worse than the crime of spending. I wonder if one day, we’ll look back and regret the time we missed when our life was just us. We can cover our bills plus some without the extra work so we’ve decided to slow down.
So… we will pay things off more slowly BUT I have my husband back – and I’ve missed him dearly.
Beks is a full-time government employee who enjoys blogging late into the night after her four kids have gone to sleep. She’s been married to Chris, her college sweetheart, for 15 years. In 2017, after 3 long years working the Dave Ramsey Baby Steps, they paid off more than $70K and became debt free. When she’s not working or blogging, she’s exploring the great outdoors.
It’s so easy to lose track of your spouse in the race to get rid of the debt. It’s especially true when you’re on difference pages about what to do with the debt. It’s no wonder that 50% of marriages end in divorce. The good thing is that you and yours seem to be on the same page and if you can meet up every so often it’ll be a nice “break” from not seeing each other.
I think that is a wise move. I have to stop and make those kids of decisions. I faced one last week that your post reminded me of. Hubby needed new brakes on his van. He was contemplating doing them himself. He’s not a car person, only chane his own oil once (and the jack fell. Thanskfully he was not under it). He’ always been hesitent as trying a new project himself, fearing that if he messed it up, it would cost more to fix it. I told him we should just take it to our regualr mechanic. This is a departure for me. My Dad is a do-it-yourselfer. He built himself a go cart from a lawn mower when he was 8. He and his dad took on mny home projects (Grandpa was a mechanical engineer). But we would not easily operate with one car. Hubby does not have experience with basic car repair and could not have “winged it”.
Smart move. You only live once and you are lucky to have a hubby you love!
I agree with you completely, Beks. While having debt is something to get away from, and avoid when possible, we get one go at life. And there really are far more important things than getting one’s debt paid off as quickly as possible. If you bypass a payment, you get another chance to get back on track. If you bypass life, you don’t get it back. Better to slow down in some areas, than throw away others.
Remember Beks, you have to live like no one else so one day you can live like no one else:) Glad you have your hubby back for a bit!
It’s a give and take. No one can life at full throttle all of the time, but I would say do it on and off. While the extra work can be beneficial, the payoff of having him around can be even greater
Glad I stopped in today. Money is often at the root of marital problems, as I know from sad experience. It’s great that you have a nice balance as well as affection there.
You might be the exception, though. Reported today that one in five Americans are seeking a second job (moonlighting) to make ends meet, and we see student debt, as well as parental debt to fund college education, increasing relentlessly.
Kudos to you!
That’s great! I’m sure you two will enjoy the new time you have together. You will eventually pay down that debt, and if I were you I would have made the same decision. No reason to rush it if it means you will only see each other one day a week.
you have chosen well
Working 6 days and nights a week sounds like too much!! You definitely need to make time for your family. Otherwise, you could lose the thing that is most important in life.