by Claire
Well, it was bound to happen….a “falling off the wagon” moment while on vacation. It was nothing catastrophic, but instaed a good “reality check” moment that DID cost us 90 bucks. We did not use credit so there’s that minimal silver lining…but obviously the money had to come from somewhere and ultimately it will come from less money going toward debt.
It all started with a very simple idea of taking the kids fishing. It ultimately became a FAIL because of poor communication between me and Steve. I thought fishing would be a great, inexpensive entertainment option for the kids. My brother has everything we need to fish…or at least that was my thinking. I mentally figured $18 for 2 fishing licenses (me and Steve since all of the kids are under age 15) and that’s where my brain stopped. Steve was on the other side of the thinking spectrum—he didn’t want to use my brother’s lures in case the kids lost them and bc there were 3 fishing rods available he felt that we needed a fourth so that each child had their own. I had already packed lots of games and things to do as the one child rotating out of the fishing for the moment would have something to do. Our huge miss was that neither of us communicated to the other what our thinking was and instead it all happened in an instant while at the fishing supply store! You know where this is going…and it isn’t going to be good.
The next thing you know we’ve spent 90 dollars. I was SICK! And FRUSTRATED both with myself and with Steve! He told each child to pick out 4 lures (@ 1.89 per lure!!!) and then put me on the spot in front of the cashier with asking me/informing me that we also needed the $22 fishing rod he had in his hand! I am not trying to air dirty laundry here and have discussed the entire situation with Steve and told him that I would be posting this to the blog. He absolutely sees his errors and is frustrated about the situation too. I absolutely see where I could have handled the entire situation better and we will both take some lessons from this experience.
To add insult to injury–fishing didn’t go over well with the group. Fly fishing is a patient person’s sport and while there were moments of joy for the kids….there were also moments of pure frustration. We did make some great memories but the $90 spent is still turning my stomach. Oh and to really put the icing on the cake…that new fishing rod we bought? Destroyed! It was designed to breakdown to 2 pieces and somehow it became 4. Granted…I’d rather it be the one we bought that is broken rather than the one we are borrowing from my brother…but still…one big UGH!
And no….we did not catch a single fish.
I suppose I should be happy that the $90 is the only money we spent today…but obviously I’m not.
Born and raised in Texas. I’ve at least driven through every state in the US courtesy of a roadtrip loving Dad.
I’m single with two children and a good parenting relationship with their father.
I am a “life is just half full of funny” kinda gal. Humor is my saving grace and I am thankful for it every single day. I have a strong Catholic faith and am thankful for that foundation.
I read a lot for a living but still enjoy a good book. I love biographies but in recent years have found the need for fun fictional books–sadly, for a long time I just didn’t enjoy fiction!
I love live theatre of any kind–from local productions to Broadway.
I love to scrapbook and pride myself in my kids’ albums.
I love being a mom but also love my career. I’m blessed to have found a balance allowing me to be at everything my kids need and want me to be at–while also having a career.
Favorite Quotes: Well behaved women rarely make history.
Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out. -James Bryant Conant
I totally understand that you want to stick to your budget on this trip, but the reality of it is that vacations usually end up costing more than we expect. In the big scheme of things, it was just $90 and while I know that may not be the attitude to have if you ever want to be debt free and a millionaire and all, sometimes you have to take a step back and ask yourself if $90 is worth the strain/arguments etc in your marriage.
I know if it were my husband, he would probably be regretting this vacation right about now and becoming a little bitter that he can’t spend a little more freely while he’s on vacation. That’s probably why we have decided not to take any vacations right now until we get this debt paid down.
Steve had a very good point that $30 of the $90 was necessary spending–fishing licenses and replacement sunglasses for him since his broke since arriving. So, then we are looking at $60 for fishing supplies–perhaps we could have reduced the number of lures per child and avoided the fishing rod altogether–but since we don’t do any souvenirs or trinkets and have not eaten out since the fast food run on travel day…it really is not that bad! Thank you for your commentary on how your husband would have felt because it prompted me to communicate with Steve and find out what his feelings were on the entire experience (i.e. resentment, regret). He isn’t beating us up as much as I am (no surprise) and assured me he does not feel deprived on the vacation or limited in his spending. He doesn’t want to spend so thankfully we are on the same page.
Someday this will be a hilarious story for your family – so try to just roll with it and enjoy the rest of your vacation!
And you and Steve could use this as your code word for future times you’re not on the same page financially – just say “fly fishing” and you’ll both stop and start laughing:)
Sure, it sucks to have kind of wasted 90$, but being this upset about it shows how much your attitude has changed since getting serious about debt payoff.
How many times before this did you spend 90$ frivolously and not really think about it at all?
Yep! Great point Jenny. We discussed this too. In the past it would not have even entered our mind that this spending was unnecessary or excessive. That does prove the spending habits are changing and that is a very good thing.
Hate to say this, but you just got to let this one go! It’s $90, not $900 or $9000. No big deal, enjoy the rest of your vacation!
Yes…shake it off! shake it off! The post helped me do so and generated good communication b/w me and Steve. It all happens for a reason! 🙂
I agree with the previous comments. You’re doing great; don’t beat yourself up. You have worked hard and are on a family vacation – enjoy it! If you don’t, you will have wasted more than $90.
Beyond that, though, I just want to point out that you could’ve easily discussed the purchase with your husband (and/or kids) before making the purchase. You shouldn’t worry about embarrassing anyone (especially yourself!), if you’re unsure about spending money. You could have just stepped out of line (or away from the counter) and had a quiet discussion with him. If you end up not buying something, who cares? You don’t owe anything to the person behind the counter, nor do you have to worry that he or she will judge you.
It might lead to a tiny bit of discomfort, but will be worth it in the end. I think a lot of people (myself included) get so excited in a store that they feel sure they need everything. Step out of the store? It’s forgotten.
Yes Jaye! This is definitely something we took from this experience. The “store anxiety” you describe here is only magnified by four kids swirling about us! The key is to just slow ourselves down and to each be okay with the other calling a “time out.” I think that is where Steve and I have to make extra effort–we went a very long time with no one calling a time out on us. This creates potential for defensiveness when our partner attempts to call attention to the here and now and sometimes we each just choose to be quiet to avoid conflict. We have come a very long way in this area but this fishing adventure showed us the areas we still need to work on. Thanks for the input!
…well, all I can say is a good fishing pole and reel is a ew hundred bucks or more, and worth the investment for some, not only for the fun but for the experience. I’m 56 and I still use the pole my dad got me when I was about 10.
Could have been worse, spending wise, so just learn from the “oops” and become a better vacationer!
Our spending fails are *always* in either 1) when we’re tired (fat food) or 2) front of other people where we have to make an on-the-spot decision and don’t want to air laundry by having a full discussion. Take the lesson and keep on truckin’!
Thanks for this Kim. I just shared this with Steve and coupled it with another comment re: using “fly fishing” as a code word. He likes the idea of just telling each other “fly fishing” so we know it is time to step aside to have a private convo.