by Claire
I had to share that I’ve heard about a new approach to couples gift suggestions for their weddings. I posted about registries and such a few months back and while this topic doesn’t evoke a whole lot of emotion from me…this one DID make me laugh. A friend received a wedding invite that advised, ON the invite, that in lieu of gifts the couple ask that guests donate to their paypal account! I’ll give them points for boldness on that one because I can’t imagine providing deposit instructions to my paypal account!
On a totally unrelated note, the owner of the house I’m renting called today. He kindly extended an open ended “if you need more time moving out we are TOTALLY open to that!” offer. I’m sure you are! Kinda scary saying goodbye to my consistent $1795 in rent, isn’t it? There have been all of 5 showings since February 8. They were asking entirely too much at $259K with all that needs to be done. They lowered the price to $248,500 today. As crazy as my life is I am thankful to not have a mortgage at this moment.
I’m looking forward to my numbers update! Kicking some debt a** this month! 🙂
Born and raised in Texas. I’ve at least driven through every state in the US courtesy of a roadtrip loving Dad.
I’m single with two children and a good parenting relationship with their father.
I am a “life is just half full of funny” kinda gal. Humor is my saving grace and I am thankful for it every single day. I have a strong Catholic faith and am thankful for that foundation.
I read a lot for a living but still enjoy a good book. I love biographies but in recent years have found the need for fun fictional books–sadly, for a long time I just didn’t enjoy fiction!
I love live theatre of any kind–from local productions to Broadway.
I love to scrapbook and pride myself in my kids’ albums.
I love being a mom but also love my career. I’m blessed to have found a balance allowing me to be at everything my kids need and want me to be at–while also having a career.
Favorite Quotes: Well behaved women rarely make history.
Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out. -James Bryant Conant
The only thing needed to send money though PayPal is an e-mail address. It’s a great idea.. I have family sends money all the time lol
I think it is smart. why should they register for all sorts of household appliances they don’t need just because that is the traditional way to go? every single wedding i attended i gave money (and some sentimenal gift in some cases like a wedding Newspaper or a guestbook or a Collage).here in germany giving money at a wedding is absolutely common.
I can appreciate the couples request for cash. It’s what we prefer to give newlyweds as I’ve always thought the gift registry with impractical items like the standard Kitchenaid mixer that just junks up the counter and collects dust is a waste. The PayPal idea is a fresh spin on it and frankly, a lot easier on the guests.
As for your landlord’s house, I think 5 showings in 3 weeks is really good. Lowering the price is really bad. They should’ve come in with a realistic price from the start. Now they just look desperate and people will suspect there really is something wrong with the house.
I’ve seen a lot of negativity lately on having a mortgage and I agree it’s not something you should take on with your current consumer debt situation, but I think renting in an unstable economy is actually a scarier prospect. At the end of the day, my mortgage payment is fixed and if the value of the dollar plummets and inflation really kicks in, at least I know my house isn’t going to cost me more. Renters are truly at the mercy of those who own. Just my .02.
For someone like me, who has a policy of not buying anything new, a Paypal donation would be useful since it means I can search for what I need on numerous sites and pay.
My dd banked her wedding cash, moved right after getting married and bought all used at her new city because she knew she’d be moving cross country in a few years and didn’t fancy paying $1.50 per pound to move all her furniture back. Her timing is impeccable, we’re downsizing so when she does move back, she’s helping herself to my furniture first, happily leaving her furniture (and some small appliances) behind because she knows I have more than enough to start them off here and the banked wedding cash will be a large part of the downpayment on a house.)
For others, money in the paypal account means the wedding cash won’t go for his/her tattoos (and yes, my friend’s daughter did that with her dh and, now divorcing, will have to pay additional to have it removed!)
I completely agree that giving money makes sense and that is my preference as well. I simply don’t like invitations addressing gifts at all (unless to say no gifts please in some way, in some situations). I also don’t like 3 cards from various stores falling out of an envelope to tell me where a couple is registered. I’m just more direct I think and would prefer asking the person via email, text or direct communication what they could use. I just want the wedding invite to be an invite and nothing more. That’s my 2 cents.
I completely agree Claire. Guess what I left out of my previous comment was that I think the PayPal thing is a great idea, but not stated on the wedding invite. Only direct people to that if they ask what they can get for you as a gift. It’s appalling that people ask and expect gifts at their wedding. My brother-in-law and his fiance did this on their online wedding announcement and even had buttons on the website to the various gift registries. We didn’t get them a thing, nor did we attend the wedding which we were given all of 3 weeks notice. It was a second wedding for both and is now headed for divorce, so I think we were justified;)
Just got the invite to my foster son’s wedding and on the back was a web address. That took me to their ‘wedding page’ with details of how they met, photos through the engagement (it has been a long engagement due to them having to save up money and there was a strike that cut into his income), maps and details for parking at the church and reception and the list of places they were registered. I thought that was a less tacky way of doing things.
In my country wedding registeries are rare but so is asking for money or gifts. After all people have the common sense to gift something when invited to a wedding. Usually people present the couple with a gold coin (in different denominatons of their choice) or cash at the wedding while congratulating the bride and the groom. Gifts such as kitchenware are rare and usually given during the first visit at the newlyweds’ home. I prefer this when I cannot attend the wedding.
Interesting…what country are you from?
Actually, me and my boyfriend are planning to do the same thing on our e-vites to our reception meal too.
We’re doing the ultra cheap route: getting married at the church and then, have lunch reception at the monastery with catering. We’re asking for no physical gifts and we’re not registered anywhere. We are asking for cash gifts through paypal account.
I know it’s probably not the best taste but cash is more useful for us since we are still in alot of debt and in the low earning bracket.
It’s tacky, just like others here indicated. I can’t imagine being so bold or assuming. Do you have a wedding site? Reference your site in the invite and mention that you’d rather have money through there if you must.
I find asking for gifts, and especially money, extremely tacky. I just don’t get how weddings, graduations, and new babies have translated into “MONEY GRAB!”
Glad to hear you are feeling secure in your decision to move and rent a more affordable place. I think the benefits will outweigh any risks or discomfort.
An idea that I thought of was to have each guest bring a bottle of alcohol for the open bar (saving money on the wedding itself!) and you get to take home the leftovers! So basically a registry at BevMo! Just cover the cost of the mixers and you’re good to go.
It’s not just you, Claire. Miss Manners and every etiquette book and column in the country says it’s beyond tacky and tasteless to ask for cash or to demand any type of gift from someone. Weddings are celebrations that are supposed to be about celebrating spending forever with someone. You’re blessed to have your guests just attend with all the costs and arrangements that involves for them. Weddings (and showers of all sorts and other events) are not times to extort gifts from people. It’s an etiquette breach to demand/request a gift from anyone of any type. I someone asks you what you’d like, Miss Manners has acquiesced that it’s acceptable to direct them to registries. It’s never okay to ask for cash. Gift giving is at the giver’s discretion – they can give cash if they want, but please don’t times when you’re supposed to be hosting to extract stuff from your friends and family.
YES! One should NEVER dare refer to gifts in the invite, at all. If there is a website about your wedding, have it at the bottom of the reception page if you must. It is the parent’s job to field questions about it and they can refer the inquiries to Paypal or registries and the like.
THANK YOU for saying it so eloquently! :=)
I got married recently and all the reading says that it is not polite to ask or expect a gift…. Not sure if that was the right thing to do considering half my family didn’t even give us a card… you’re welcome for the free dinner, entertainment, and open bar… jerks haha 🙂
I agree with giving cash or check for a wedding.
I like the Paypal idea. I ask for money for birthdays and holidays, so why not my wedding day! I will have to keep that in mind!
PAYPAL??? Really? So funny! But so clever! I think the older folks might see that as nontraditional and rude though.