by Claire
This post has nothing to do with finance but I’m about to burst so I must share!
I am home this morning waiting for the carpet cleaner. As my kids are picked up by their Dad he and I notice (and thankfully the children didn’t) the truck parked parallel across the street has “White Power” written in the dirt on the side of the truck. Now this truck has been a problem in the past. It is driven by the 18-year-old boy that lives there. He is a teenager–I get it–but we’ve had issues with speeding and partying and basically obnoxious behavior. I knew of his racist ways b/c of confederate flags being flown but only briefly and never out long enough for me to say anything. So, I knew he either knew this was on his truck or was at the very least okay with it being there. Never has it been this over the top though. So the kids and their Dad leave and I am still standing in my driveway debating if I go have the obvious confrontation that needs to be had. I don’t know these neighbors really and with the partying I have heard, might I bet met by a hungover 18-year-old that could easily take me out with one punch?! Literally less than 10 seconds later, along comes the carpet cleaning van driven by an older black man! Well that ended my mental debate pretty quickly and sure enough the carpet cleaning guy gets out of his van pointing at that stupid truck!
And so I marched right over and rang the doorbell. The carpet guy asked if I was sure about doing this and I said yes–asked him to just keep an eye on me and then he tells me he has a big stick in his van! LOL! That’s funny now but at the time this man and I were genuinely concerned for our well being and that is just sad. So the idiot son answers the door in his t-shirt with cut off sleeves. I pounced and told him that he needed to clean the side of his truck and remove the offensive racist statement. He was shocked that I came to his front door. He froze for a bit and I told him he can be an idiot but I will not be made to look at his stupidity. So I told him to go get a cleaning rag and he said he’d do it later. I pushed and said that I didn’t believe him so I wasn’t leaving until he cleaned it off. We walked to the street together all while I continued to hen peck him about his stupidity. He missed a spot and I told him so. I ended it with telling him that it shouldn’t be one’s goal to be the poster child for white trash and he’s young…there’s still time to make different decisions.
I returned to the carpet guy thanking me and then adding that I’m crazy! LOL! That’s okay. I’ll take it. I think this makes me officially old b/c this is absolutely, positively something my mother does on a regular basis!
Born and raised in Texas. I’ve at least driven through every state in the US courtesy of a roadtrip loving Dad.
I’m single with two children and a good parenting relationship with their father.
I am a “life is just half full of funny” kinda gal. Humor is my saving grace and I am thankful for it every single day. I have a strong Catholic faith and am thankful for that foundation.
I read a lot for a living but still enjoy a good book. I love biographies but in recent years have found the need for fun fictional books–sadly, for a long time I just didn’t enjoy fiction!
I love live theatre of any kind–from local productions to Broadway.
I love to scrapbook and pride myself in my kids’ albums.
I love being a mom but also love my career. I’m blessed to have found a balance allowing me to be at everything my kids need and want me to be at–while also having a career.
Favorite Quotes: Well behaved women rarely make history.
Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out. -James Bryant Conant
Good for you!!!
Love it! You tell em Claire.
Glad to know I’m not the only one who can’t keep my mouth shut! I’ve grown less tolerant of stupidity recently, and less afraid to call people on it! Maybe that young man will take what you did to heart…awesome job!
I would like to suggest a different approach that I saw a friend of mine approach a neighborhood child who was destroying his child’s outdoor play equipment. He approached the child and asked him his name and introduced himself and got to know him and his family. It then became really easy to approach the family with his polite requests to stop the unwanted behavior. I realize that a loud obnoxious teenager may be scary and you thought that your approach was the only way, but I don’t agree with this being your first method of approach. Maybe quietly explaining to him how you find it offensive and offensive to the people that come to your home and asking him if he would mind if you cleaned it off – you are not his parent, and I know you are moving and don’t have to deal with the repercussions, but this could potentially turn into a very ugly situation. I speak from experience from some of the ways I handled things in the past and now wish I had taken my friend’s approach.
Good for you! And thankful for the carpet guy standing to watch you for safety as well. Happy Easter!
It’s important that people of color not be the only ones pointing out that stuff like that isn’t okay. So thank you for being an advocate for common decency!
ha! This story makes me think of something my mom would do! I can only hope that I, too, will someday have the same panache.
Generally with people and stuff like that I just walk away these days. I used to be confrontational about it, and boy do I get into trouble when I am. The thing with kids though, is that they don’t expect to be confronted like that, and certainly not by a “nice housewife” (or at least he probably sees you that way) so it’s great that you could catch him off guard and stun him into submission!
But always be careful, sometimes it’s not worth it, and sometimes it’s better to fix things under cover. LIke you walking over and just wiping it off yourself one morning without saying a word. ANd maybe even writing in other dirt on the side “I love all people” or a peace sign or something like that, haha
WOW! I’m glad you did something!
Good for you!! I think walking away or ignoring it, while it may be the “safe” choice often gives the unintended opinion that you are ok with what was there. Turning your back on racism and hate is just as bad, is it not? I admire your courage to stand up and say NO, this is NOT right and I won’t allow it. I wish everyone would do that.
That was wonderful! You are amazing. 🙂
So, just a random comment because I’ve been so proud of your progress and have been inspiring me… when I received my work bonus and a tax refund, instead of splurging it all on a re-do of the backyard (not necessary… we have a completely functional area) we paid off our car and all of our credit card debt… with a little leftover for savings. It feels so good! Keep up the good work and inspiration!
That’s just great. Thank you for being a decent member of the human race and for doing your part to make the world a little better!
I agree that it was absolutely the right thing to do. He will certainly think twice about doing something like that. It doesn’t sound like you were offensive just very shall we say, direct! And you made a difference for the carpet cleaner. He saw someone who wasn’t willing to turn away and not notice! I bet he is telling that story tonight!
Love the way you handled this! Do want to note though, that not all folks consider a confederate flag to be racist. Totally depends on the display and context. Coupled with white pride, yes. As in a notation of southern pride to include slow days on the farm with friends, family, and sweet tea and backroading at nights to go frog gigging, no. Just sayin 🙂
All black people do, regardless of explanations (I’m black). If you’re comfortable knowing it makes people uncomfortable & worried…
I agree I don’t ever see a confederate flag flying and think anything good!
Interesting, because i know black people who wear confederate flag tshirts, my ex being one of them. 🙂
Good for you! Racism should not be tolerated. But, please do be extra careful until you move. You have two young kids and this 18 year old seems like an odd one.
Disappointing to see that on the side of his van, however, your response is the highlight of my day. Go You!! 😀
Good for you for making him clean it off right away. May he think twice before making another foolish decision.
Hi Claire,
Sorry you had to go through that but glad you stood up to the idiot.
Hi Claire:
I meant to say this yesterday, and I’m sorry I waited a whole day to say it.
As the daughter of a holocaust survivor, I want to thank you. You have no idea what your bravery and activism means to people whose families have experienced the worst kind of racism. Please don’t listen to people who tell you to keep quiet. People like you change the world.
Please do as wonderful a job raising to be your kids to be righteous as your mother obviously did.
Thank you again,
Jaye
Thank you for sharing this Jaye. I do hope I am raising children who would do the same thing.