by Claire
We are getting settled in to the apartment and as I’ve been updating friends and family beyond my immediate family I am making mental notes of their responses. Housing is such a personal choice with, I am learning, all sorts of emotional ties involved. I’m just as guilty as the next guy as I look back at my 20’s and 30’s and realize I was chasing a housing dream defined for me by others–namely, society. When I take stock of the various living situations I’ve been in during my adult life my fondest memories come from my time in apartments! Now obviously some of that has to do with what was going on in my life at the time that was totally unrelated to the housing situation (relationship, job, life events, etc) but to some extent I am determining that the simplicity of apartment living has a lot to do with that contentment.
Now before some of you say it, I’ll readily admit I am not yet two weeks into this new place. I could be sick of it in just a few months and that remains to be seen. Things are very quiet so far and the neighbors are appropriately friendly. The kids are excited and that helps tremendously. I love that I can clean the apartment in all of 20 minutes and that there are a whole host of things that I do not have to worry about by living in a community setting like this.
But the criticism is out there for my choice to move to an apartment. I do think this is even more pronounced in my part of the country–Texas–where bigger truly is seen as better. A good friend originally from the Northeast was most shocked by the size of the “regular” neighborhood lots, the size of the houses on those lots and the seemingly mandatory 6-foot tall privacy fences around the backyard. Texans like their space. But I’ve learned the hard way that human nature is to FILL UP that space with STUFF and then what do you have? TOO MUCH STUFF. I also know the criticism about raising kids in apartments. I’ve never bought into that one though because much of our country and our world raise happy, healthy children in “apartment” like settings ALL the time. I’ll admit though this is a tough stigma to choose to overcome. I am better at it now than I was in my 20’s and 30’s but the stigma is definitely there. The kids seem okay with it but again–that might be the novelty of the whole situation. Time will tell.
Final thought: I’ve been talking to my Mom a lot lately about all of her stuff. My mom is almost 82 years old and was orphaned at age 5. I think her childhood experiences have turned her into the extreme pack rat that she is now. By no means is she a hoarder b/c everything is very neatly organized but serious amounts of stuff. My Dad now wishes they had moved out of my childhood home about 10-15 years ago into a more manageable space. At their age now their physical limitations make the idea of moving too much to bear. And so being the realist I am (a product, I am convinced, of having parents who were in their 40’s when they had me at a time that 40 year old women were not having babies and a mother who was sure she would die before the end of the school day–lol–not kidding…she would put me on the bus and say she hoped she’d be there when I came home…I WAS 8! There is a book waiting to be written about my mom…but I digress) I wonder why we all chase a house with lots of space when in the end…we need and should want to downsize to adjust to our inevitable physical, mental and perhaps financial limitations?!
So as I drove by this really nice Senior Apartment Complex right by our place it hit me. I think I want to live in one of those places! Hey…they include meal plans and activities! I could travel and have a small home base!
Born and raised in Texas. I’ve at least driven through every state in the US courtesy of a roadtrip loving Dad.
I’m single with two children and a good parenting relationship with their father.
I am a “life is just half full of funny” kinda gal. Humor is my saving grace and I am thankful for it every single day. I have a strong Catholic faith and am thankful for that foundation.
I read a lot for a living but still enjoy a good book. I love biographies but in recent years have found the need for fun fictional books–sadly, for a long time I just didn’t enjoy fiction!
I love live theatre of any kind–from local productions to Broadway.
I love to scrapbook and pride myself in my kids’ albums.
I love being a mom but also love my career. I’m blessed to have found a balance allowing me to be at everything my kids need and want me to be at–while also having a career.
Favorite Quotes: Well behaved women rarely make history.
Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out. -James Bryant Conant
It’s so good to hear you excited still. Happiness is so tied to expectations, so a lot of the stress of house ownership (which is like cat ownership, who really does the owning?) comes from imagining it will all be perfect because you can change it, but frankly, we don’t know what we want, or need to be happy. So it falls short, and we know subconsciously it’s our fault, so we get even more unhappy about it.
On the other hand if too much is out of our control, that leads to another kind of unhappiness. So it’s a balance.
I know one person who seems to get a lot of happiness from funky art, and her place looks like a giant blackbird owns it, but for the rest of us it’s about experiences. Collecting those is so much more rewarding. And people don’t realize that the stuff gets in the way of making experiences count.
All sorts of smart points here!
Not everyone has the same preferences in living arrangements. As long as you and your children are happy in the apartment, that is what really matters.
I am one that loves the space (I have two large dogs, and greatly enjoy gardening and being outside). I also cannot stand hearing noise through the walls or ceiling, and want my car in an attached garage or basement. Add the fear of someone in another attached unit having a fire, especially if I’m not home to rescue my pets, and I would live ANYWHERE but an apartment or townhome! (I did have two instances where neighbors had fires when I lived in a townhome and we were lucky the fire didn’t get into our unit.)
We have had numerous debates at work about buying a house versus renting. We are all young professionals and most have purchased their first homes. They are always shocked when I say I am in no hurry to purchase a home. Partially because of the debt I’m in (which they don’t know about), but mostly because I am not ready for the responsibilities of owning a home. I love being able to call maintenance when something is broken. I like the amenities of apt living. I like the flexibility living in an apt gives me in terms of relocating for work. I do wish I had a yard for my dog, but we take him to the dog park often. Other than that I am completely content with renting for a while!
And when I do eventually purchase a home, I want to buy a smaller condo or townhome. My dreamhome is no longer a grand mansion; instead I want a home that fits my family perfectly. No need for extra space to fill with meaningless things!
I am renting but do look forward to buying again (as I hear my neighbor stomping above me – I’m sure it is just walking but it is very loud). Anyway, I always thought that my house was too large at 1260 sq. ft finished and then I added another 420 by finishing the basement. As a single person, I didn’t need more than 1 extra bedoom, if that and didn’t need two laundry areas. Next time though, I’d just like a 2 bedroom with a very small yard. I’m not sure I want a second bathroom even. A townhome sounds perfect! I’d even be up for a 1 bedroom condo with a patio if the location was right!
Two bathrooms. That’s my minimum, in case something goes wrong with the toilet in the first bathroom on a holiday weekend. I don’t want to pay overtime to the plumber!
We are in our 50’s and in the process of moving from 3200 square feet to 1300-1700 (this is an 18 month process so our final destination is only defined in our heads, not reality.) As I watch my dh toss stuff with abandon, I’m so glad I’m doing this while we are both here and healthy. He is tossing things I would have thought he’d have wanted me to keep. Because he was beside me, tossing all the cards, etc. from our wedding was easy – I didn’t need them, I have him.
Back to bathrooms, our son was visiting and my dh and I were racing out the door to choir practice. Both of us ran to a bathroom before we left. Our son said it was obvious to him that we need two bathrooms in our new place (but obviously, not the three we have now!)
That second bathroom is expensive on a house in downtown Denver. For my old house, which had 2 bad toilets initially, I bought a $35 snake and there were no more issues. It was a good investment. Plumbers rates are sooo high!
Claire, I completely understand what you are saying. I was transplanted to Florida from Dallas, and I completely miss the housing market out there. I don’t miss the large house, but I do miss the amount of space that my kids had to play in. More trees, safe sidewalks (not to be taken for granted) and large wide streets (great for teaching teenagers how to drive). We lack those things out here. From a debt class I took before (thanks to Suzy Orman) I’ve learned not to fill my space with stuff, but rather enjoy the clean space. I guess we all look at things differently.
A good friend said it best: It all depends on what is most important to you. The differences in opinions are what makes this experience that much better!
Claire, I think you are on the right track (peace of mind and financially) and will continue to be happy in the apt. I wonder if it is the shared community space that you like, there is a much better sense of people coming and going in apts than in single dwellings. I think you are spot on about senior apt. complex, it prevents seniors from being isolated. When our time comes, I will save seat for you in the dining room.
Ha ha Ellen! Thank you! I think you definitely hit on something re the shared community aspect. I’m learning a lot about my “core” being and how I must stay true to that to find inner tranquility. And, I DO enjoy seeing people out and about. It gives me a good feeling for some reason.
My husband and I bought a two bedroom condo that is just over 900 square feet after we got married. 8 years and 2 kids later we’re still here. I can’t tell you how many times a family member asks “When are you going to buy a house?” to which I reply, “We did, we bought a condo.” The next response always is, “Yeah, but that’s just a starter home right? When are you going to buy something bigger?” We’re not. We love our Condo. It’s the perfect fit for us. It’s funny how many people just don’t seem to get it.
I love this Mrs. R! Great stuff! This stuff is truly so deeply impressed upon people that it is like you are speaking a foreign language when you re-state your decision re the condo! That’s funny to me how humans can be so influenced.
On the parents – last year my in-laws emptied their 3BR, 3 story+cellar house they lived in for 30 years to move to a modular home in Florida. Getting rid of stuff took six whole months of multiple yard sales & donations! Their remaining stuff fit into one U-Haul. Whenever you tackle your parents stuff….I’ll feel for you. Not fun.
Ugh. THIS is something I think about pretty regularly. My poor mom. She’s so defined by her stuff and I learned long ago that I cannot convince her otherwise. I did once suggest she have a pre-estate sale when she was complaining about all of her stuff. She was not amused. Due to difficult childhood re: money and having what she needed, she can’t let things go without getting 50 cents for them. So I thought it would meet her needs by opening her house for people to give her money for the stuff she says she wants to get rid of. I was met with silence on the phone and then told that I’m emotionally disconnected. Okidoke. Moving on!
Claire – You say your mom isn’t a hoarder because it’s organized. I disagree. And I would tread very, very lightly with talking to her about unloading her items. Hoarding is a complicated thing, and speaking as someone with a packrat tendency it is very threatening and scary when someone offers to help get rid of my stuff. For starters, it’s a control thing. Secondly, depending on how they offer or what they say, it can come across as judgmental, and this is already a sensitive topic.
One cause of hoarding is fear. Yes, it’s irrational to think that having all of that stuff will somehow protect you from whatever it is you fear the most, but that can be a big part of it. From what you’ve said about your mom’s background I wouldn’t be surprised if she was acting out of fear. She had to, in a sense, fend for herself at a very young age and deal with incredible loss. She probably feels that if she doesn’t have all of her stuff she’ll lose her identity or her connection to people.
If you want to learn more there’s a really interesting book about hoarding written by two professors. It’s written for lay people, so it isn’t dry and academic. It’s called, appropriately, Stuff.
On the plus side, her items are organized, and it doesn’t sound like it’s creating a health hazard.
Jen–
Your comment made me really take pause and think a lot about my mom and I felt like I was being very insensitive. Not only b/c of the hoarding issues you talk about here but also b/c I probably sounded very flip when speaking about her and her sort of “doom and gloom” farewells when I got on the bus when I was little. I use humor to cope a lot of times and often that can be hurtful to others. My mom lost her parents at a very young age and didn’t get help to cope with that life experience. As a result, she had a very real fear that she would not live to see me grow up and sure…it came out in somewhat unhealthy ways…but she did the best she could with her life circumstances. And so thanks for the comment b/c it made me take a step back and think. That’s always a great thing!
I’m so glad you found it helpful. After I wrote it I worried that I was being too hard on you, which wasn’t my intent.
In regards to the parents, I have a 91 year old father-in-law who still lives in a townhouse he bought 30 years ago. We are slowly, slowly getting rid of stuff (such as 100s of grocery store paper bags, etc.). I think there is a way to approach your parents and their stuff without making your mom feel bad or overwhelmed (if you want to do this).
My parents have moved three times in the past 15 years. I am so grateful that they have downsized. They have lots of heirlooms and I have decided that whatever is left is important.
Sarah–see my suggestion to what Kim wrote in the comments. I’ve accepted it’s not going to happen with my mom. I have taken what I need though in the lesson department…don’t burden myself with stuff! My Dad is totally on board with getting rid of stuff and downsizing and once randomly got a flatbed trailer and filled it as much as he could and drove to the dump. LOL! Mom didn’t speak to him for over a month. That wasn’t the way for my Dad to handle it–I admit it–but sometimes you just snap!
I can totally relate on several counts! Now almost to my 40s and with 4 kids, I love my “little” home (1800 square feet) but certainly miss the simplicity of the apartment life. I will probably go back to it as soon as my kids are on their own. Having someone else to do the maintenance and upkeep, less utility bills, less yardwork, etc.
Now my parents are in their 60s and are downsizing from their family home. I keep trying to convince them that an apartment is the way to go, but they (my dad) is convinced he still needs the space for us kids (5 of us) and grandkids (5 of them) to visit. He just can’t wrap his mind around the smaller space, but I keep trying.
I say kudos to you for making the best financial move for your family. If I had found an apartment that was less than my house payment a couple of years ago when I bought this house, I would have done it, but living in a tourist town rent is extremely high in most everything.
Enjoying the regular posting, keep it up!
Thanks Hope! Reader Ellen and I will save you a place in the dining room! 🙂
It made me giggle that this home move has made you start daydreaming about your retirement home!
As someone living in Belgium, where home ownership is highly valued (they say Belgians are ‘born with bricks in their stomachs’), I still can’t understand the stigma attached to living in a house over an apartment. Almost everyone I know who lives in the city lives in an apartment and is an aspiring apartment owner. You are totally right, this has no negative impact on the kids.
I giggled to CC! All by myself in the car!
I think you made the right decision for your situation right now and I hope you continue to enjoy living in an apartment. It has its advantages if you can tolerate some of the annoyances. I never liked hearing neighbors through the walls and especially overhead (who does??), and I used to hate shlepping grocery bags from the parking lot.
Here in GA, it’s not much cheaper to rent a nice apartment than rent or buy a large home so if there’s a stigma attached to apartment dwellers, it’s most likely that they’re either viewed as transient or unable to qualify for a mortgage. I used to live in Texas as well for many years and it was the same there. Not so in the big cities where it’s pretty much a given that you’ll be living in an apartment.
We like our space from the neighbors, our high privacy fences, etc., but the biggest reason we own a larger home here is because it’s inexpensive and eventually an investment or “forced savings plan” once it’s paid off. I’m becoming increasingly more concerned about the stability of retirement accounts and exactly where to put our money, so real estate for now was a more attractive option.
Once you make decisions for YOU and not blindly following the herd, you will find great happiness. This is one of those decisions. I can just imagine the responses and assumptions you are getting. !! {I wonder what people are thinking but not saying}. What is ironic is people are probably thinking you are broke or something when in reality your finances are on a good track. Actually, having always been frugally minded I have gotten the same kind of response to basic life choices, but over the years people come to really respect you when they see how happy you truly are. So for some of them that are really shocked, just give it some time. They will come around. & other than that, you learn who your true friends are.
WE have a unique situation where we moved to a lower cost region so were able to upgrade to a much larger home while downgrading our housing expenses. !! BUT, all we could afford was to own a condo in our old city. SO, though we love the space for having kids, we look forward to downsizing and ditching the yard and extra space in the long run. My *dream home* is a condo. That’s what we have decided since actually being able to afford a house. Renting just doesn’t make any financial sense where we live, so we will be purchasing a condo when our kids are grown. I am sure many people will think we are having financial troubles when in fact we will probably be retiring.
I think a lot of us just “follow the script” when we’re younger. We’re just starting out and we haven’t truly figured out who we are and what we want and need. At least I know that’s the case for me.
I also think that some of the people who give you grief for deviating from the norm are actually insecure – they see you doing something different and it makes them uneasy.
This was another one that had me agreeing out loud–and later in the day I had a chat with the kids and used this phrase! I told them they do not have to “follow a script.” Thank you!
I bought a poster from and Etsy seller that has a cute drawing of an Airstream trailer and the words, “Wherever we are together, that is home.” (http://www.etsy.com/listing/62763445/airstream-edition-wherever-we-are?ref=shop_home_active)
I look at that and it reminds me that as long as I have a safe and warm place to live with my family it doesn’t matter how unconventional it is. We still dream about living out of an Airstream. Our goal for home-ownership is to finish in a starter home and not fall prey to the nagging to “upgrade”. I wouldn’t even be opposed to renting but we live in one of those areas where it is cheaper (by a lot) to own than rent.
This is awesome!!!
The fact that you even have to debate these issues or explain yourself just makes me so sad about where our culture has gotten with materialism, entitlement, and assumptions about living space and family. It’s crazy, and it’s making so many unhappy. Homes keep getting bigger and bigger in the US (proven by research), families are getting smaller and smaller, families see less of each other with everyone hibernating in their own bedrooms or wings of the house, people’s debt goes higher to buy these houses or to fill them with crap, and research tells us that people aren’t any happier. It’s a problem.
I have watched the generation above me and have decided to avoid what most of them do: start out light in life (unburdened by stuff or debt), buy a house that’s much bigger than one needs, fill it with crap, sometimes go into debt, then come to hate your giant house that you have to maintain and all the stuff that overwhelms you, and then ditch it all to move into a tiny apartment in retirement and give away your stuff like it’s a hot potato. I figure why not skip the middle part?! Just stay in no more space than I really need, don’t accumulate crap that I’ll later come to hate or give away, and have more money for experiences, travel, education, and general freedom to do as I like in life.
Also, apartments can be great for adults and children. As an adult, I love that apartments don’t enable me to fill a giant space with crap, I can outsource maintenance, I’m free to focus on things I’d rather spend time on instead of house and yard care, etc. And some of my best memories growing up were when we lived in an apartment – there was a pool, there were fun grounds to play on, I had friends in the complex. Kids naturally gravitate toward many aspects of more communal living. It’s how humans were meant to live. It’s still how most people in the world live, and research has shown us that connection with community and other people makes us happier and less depressed. What’s unnatural is sticking a few people in 3000 square feet.
Also, most siblings think it’s fun to share a room. It’s adults who project their baggage onto the situation and decide it’s not. Don’t let your current norms keep you from exploring new norms that might be better.
Margot,
I was thinking a lot about you as I was explaining things to people. And when I say explaining I don’t mean that I go into a long, drawn out explanation trying to justify my decision but instead just the basic sharing of the changes in my housing. It is a SAD statement but with each passing day I am finding empowerment in that sad reality. LOVED your statement: “what’s unnatural is sticking a few people in 3000 square feet.” YES! I said out loud! “YES!” So thank you for sharing that. By the way, so far, so great on the kids sharing a room. It has nudged my 8 year old daughter to be more independent (which she needed to do) and has encouraged my 13 year old son to be more of a big brother to her. I am excited to watch how that situation unfolds.
Quite an interesting observation about “bigger is better” in Texas. 🙂
Being a Dutch national, I wasn’t prepared for the size of American cars, food portions, and … people. Compared to Europe, everything seems almost double in size at half the cost. 🙂
I visited cities like Boston, Seattle, San Francisco, Houston, Dallas where my collegues (I work for Verizon) drive big trucks, and have large steaks in Mexican restaurants. Quite amazing.
One time, we decided to make a joke about these differences. One of our US colleagues was to visit Amsterdam and Brussels and we would take him to some customer meetings. We decided – as usual – to pick him up the Schiphol (Amsterdam) Airport and then to drive to Brussels by car.
Now, you have to know that this guy is actually quite big — some 250 pounds or so. And this time, we rented the smallest car we could get — a Smart 2-seater. The car is OK, safe to drive, extremely economical with fuel and provides room enough even for people that are a little bigger than average.
When our US colleague saw the car, he could not believe his eyes and he said: “I am not going to get into that car! No way!” (in the end, he did hop into the car though).
It was all quite amusing and in the evening we had a couple of beers and a good laugh about what happened that day.
First off, not all Americans are overweight. Secondly, while we do have teeny tiny cars that are perfect for city driving, they are quite ,unfortunately, unsafe on our vast interstate highway systems here which are traveled heavily by large semi trucks. I’m sure it’s a perfectly nice size vehicle to get in and around European cities, especially since most of the streets are ancient, small, and not designed for large vehicles, but it’s not a “one size fits all” country here for more than one reason.
I hope your friend’s feelings were not hurt! That was my first thought as I read this quickly followed by “We DO eat too much in the US!” I know some readers will defend this great country and it is…it so, so is a GREAT country…but WE EAT TOO MUCH and have too many health issues related to our food consumption. I could go on and on and on and on here…so very tempting…but I think as a general statement we do over-consume in many areas. This is not to say that Europe doesn’t have its share of “issues” but as for consumption and consumerism…yes, we take the cake! 🙂
I did not intend to say anything bad — I don’t value obese people anything less as thinner people. I do not judge based upon such factors at all. I do not judge particular countries or cultures as well.
I traveled a lot in Asia, Africa, South America and the US, it is nice to see differences in culture, and sometimes, yes, sometimes it is so nice to open up someone else’s eyes just a little (as we did with our colleague). I feel lucky to be exposed to so many different ways of living.
I have been in the poorest of places and in the richest and learned to see the differences. I have witnessed people die of poverty and disease in the streets of Dhaka, and I was wondering what on earth I was doing there. My business there seemed of no value at all at that time.
Likewise, I see people die in our countries, dying of overconsumption, dying of heart attacks, and other disease associated with overconsumption. I see how we use the world’s resources while billions of people struggle in poverty.
Considering all this, I think we should all feel incredibly lucky to having been born in the richest corners of the world. Our issues seem irrelevant to what other people need to endure.
It also made me understand how difficult it is for our servicemen overseas, serving in countries like Afghanistan, to adapt to our ‘normal’ way of life after having witnessed rather extreme situations. Impressions for life.
I am not claiming to have had the same exposure as our US and Dutch soldiers, however; having worked for the Dutch foreign office, having had exposure to so many different situations all over the globe – it changed the way I look at the world and our societies.
Thanks for reading, listening.
J.
Claire,
You hit a nerve with this post! Look how many readers responded.
My hubby and I have 3 kids. We have a 3 bedroom house and we are on top of each other all-the-time. BUT, this time is so short lived, the kids will be gone within 5-10 years and then the house will feel huge. Hubby and I will stay in our starter home. Sadly, many of our friends have moved away into bigger house, with larger mortgages. No, I want to have a vacation property when my kids are grown and gone. It may be small (and messy)but it’s ours.
We bought our house in 1994 – 1400 square feet. We now have two high schoolers who will be gone soon. I’m so glad that we didn’t upgrade like other people we know. House is paid off, kids will be gone and we have the perfect house for retirement – no stairs!
Sarah! PURE GENIUS!
Good to see you having time again to chime in more often with others’ comments. I think you totally get it.
Texans do like their space and their stuff
They do like privacy
But people who live in big houses with lots of crap inevitable become enslaved to it. Whether by the debt, the mortgage, or the inability to move. And the more, nicer, newer stuff they have the more dissatisfied they get because nothing’s ever enough.
It kills me when people talk about not wanting to share walls or deal with neighbors or crime or late night noise or whatever. We can be so uppity and selfish. God made us to be in community. And the Son of Man had no place to lay his head.
What I love about your housing transformation is that it gets to the heart of what this whole debt reduction thing is really about. It’s not about a number on a page. It’s not about building wealth. It’s about living out values like simplicity, freedom from the wrong master, contentment, community, generosity, benevolence, and discipline. Your housing journey shows you aren’t just reducing debt but you’re living out values close to your heart that can be very counter cultural and difficult for people with different values to understand.
We went to a funeral dinner once at a senior living community center. I asked my wife when we could move in. It looks like do much fun even though I was born in the 1980s!
Adam,
Can I hear an ‘AMEN?!'” It is about what is important and you communicate beautifully here what is truly important. Thank you!
I think there is a socio-economic thing going on with Americans that you kinda sideways mentioned. Where I live in the Southeast US, an apt GENERALLY speaking is for low income families. Not that there aren’t people saving money and living within their means, but the general impression out there is that it’s a lower CLASS of people. People who have service jobs and no education. You just don’t hear of many lawyers renting an apt. (BUYING an apt completely different) I think it’s way more tied not to stuff per se, but to the idea of class. Haves vs have nots. I don’t agree with it, but I do think it’s a fairly prevalant thought. A house doesn’t just equal STUFF, it equals money, education and belonging to a better class of people – people who are productive members of society. That isn’t the case at all, people use owning a house as a front to present to other people that they have/are all those things. The nicer/larger the house, the higher up the Class scale you go. Thus, living in an apartment equates lower class.
It’s kind of disturbing to write it all down like that. Why are we all so judgey mcjudgerson of each other?!?
Disturbing for sure but so, so valuable! Thanks for writing it down like that! You hit the nail on the head. It also reminded me that I must be told on at least a weekly basis that I’m not “like” other lawyers. I consider that a compliment! Sure there are a few–a very small percentage–that are truly in the upper 1-2% of income earners but the reality is that most lawyers are saddled with debt and only taking on more debt to keep up appearances. I have never been one to worry about the latest name brands or trends. And I know at my very core that real class comes from what you are made of–not what you buy. Thanks again for sharing!
Mentioning the senior apartment complex got me thinking about where and how I want to live when I get older. I’ve already concluded that I will need to move out of my townhouse into a flat – I’ve managed to take two unpleasant spills on the stairs in the 7 years I’ve lived here. I’m young enough now that the spills are unpleasant, but at 60 or 70? I could be breaking bones!
But, outside of the type of dwelling I hadn’t considered the type of community. I used to think that the assisted living facilities would be nice, but then I worried about being in a community made up entirely of people my age, and I worried I’d socially stagnate. Now I’m thinking that perhaps a co-housing arrangment could work. You’re living with people of various ages, and you’re in an intentional community, so if I have a health episode odds are someone would notice. And, the joint-living requirements of a co-housing place would require me to get out of my apartment and interact with people. But, I do like my privacy and alone time, so I would have weigh the pros and cons carefully. Luckily I’ve got 20-30 years to think about this 🙂
I love that we are thinking about this stuff! I know so many older couples who curse their decision to stay in the house with stairs!! I need to learn more about the co-housing set up you mention b/c I’m not familiar with that. Thanks for the tip! I presume you are in Boston and so I must extend my thoughts and prayers for your community. Even if not directly impacted your proximity to the tragedy is difficult. Be well.
Thank you. I am happy that none of my friends or family were at the finish line. Sadly, though, an acquaintance knew one of those who died 🙁 It was an awful, sad feeling as the news came out. My grandmother LOVED the marathon and she’d watch it every year. She died nearly 10 years ago, and I am glad she didn’t see this. She would have been so upset.
What amazes me, however, are the stories of those who pitched in and helped, from offering strangers a place to stay to the runners who KEPT ON RUNNING TO GIVE BLOOD!!!!!! That just blows my mind. And it reminds me that I need to schedule a blood donation a month from now. I haven’t given in ages because it became difficult to, but I think maybe if I go to a hospital I can get someone skilled in finding a smaller vein.
Interesting post – I think there are some enormous perks to apartment living and it is something we are hoping to do in the next 10 years or so (go from owning to renting). Maintenance – zip! Travel – no problem! Want to live somewhere else – go when your lease is up! Also great for not having to worry about the unexpected expenses a house brings.
Yes, yes and yes! Still loving it by the way…