by Claire
I went off the grid for too long but with good reason. My mother had a health scare with an emergency surgery for a femeral hernia. There was a scary point that they thought it was a strangulated hernia which can be extremely dangerous and even fatal if not caught quickly. She is home now and recovering well. As strange as it is to say this, our family needed this jolt right now. Ever since my aunt’s death in May of 2012, there has been tension. I think that situation made all five of us think about what we face with our aging parents.
We are lucky in that our parents have everything in order on the legal front. We know who does what and each of us has some responsibility. We are also lucky that all five of us can be counted on to step up when the time comes; although certainly the two of us that are local face more day-to-day stuff with the parents. We all use humor to deal with the reality but I like to think we are in a better position than most when it comes to being prepared.
As I go about living my regular life–even these stressful moments–I keep thinking about the blog and what financial issues are arising in the moment. There was good news and bad. I always like to start with the bad: I blew the budget over the last 5 days. I was on the go like a maniac and any plan I might have had for my spending went out the window as I drove up and down IH35 to help my parents and then also take care of the kids. I was eating crap out of windows (I don’t know how to spell out the sound of a seagull but please insert it in your head at this time) and running to the store I do not know how many times to get things my parents needed. I stocked them up on groceries and prepared as many meals as I could before having to plug back into my reality. I haven’t even sat down yet to see the damage done but this experience did help me decide what to do with my “extra money” once my debt is gone: I want six months of living expenses socked away in my emergency account. If I keep this mentality that I’m broke it won’t take long to get there. Then when things like this week hit (which they inevitably will), it is but a mere speed bump and not a “situation to be solved.”
It’s nice to make decisions and really nice not to have to consult with a difficult husband when I do so! 🙂
Born and raised in Texas. I’ve at least driven through every state in the US courtesy of a roadtrip loving Dad.
I’m single with two children and a good parenting relationship with their father.
I am a “life is just half full of funny” kinda gal. Humor is my saving grace and I am thankful for it every single day. I have a strong Catholic faith and am thankful for that foundation.
I read a lot for a living but still enjoy a good book. I love biographies but in recent years have found the need for fun fictional books–sadly, for a long time I just didn’t enjoy fiction!
I love live theatre of any kind–from local productions to Broadway.
I love to scrapbook and pride myself in my kids’ albums.
I love being a mom but also love my career. I’m blessed to have found a balance allowing me to be at everything my kids need and want me to be at–while also having a career.
Favorite Quotes: Well behaved women rarely make history.
Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out. -James Bryant Conant
That’s a great plan! I remember the moment it hit me: I’d be up a creek if anything happened to me. I had significant debt and no emergency fund. I did just what you are doing. I paid off my debt and saved 8 months of expenses.
Every month of expenses you get saved, you will feel more and more peace and less and less stressed about what could happen in the future. It really is a beautiful thing.
Good luck! With your newer, better, cheaper apartment you can do it!
I’m glad your mom is on the mend! I don’t think your fast food excursions were a slip; these things happen and that’s why we have to have our financial lives in order.
I agree!
When you’re more settled perhaps you can put a line item in your budget for the emergency fund? Start out small – $25-50/week until you’ve paid off your debt. It mayv not amount to much, but it will get you in the habit of tending to it.
I’m sorry to hear about your mom, I hope she has a speedy recovery. Having a flush emergency fund is one of my proudest accomplishments – never in my life had I ever been able to keep more than $500 saved for any lengthy period of time. After paying off my cc debt, my husband and I funded our emergency fund – about 8 months worth of bills saved up. It felt like money was always landing in front of us (for once haha) – so for me it was a constant temptation not to spend it. But after two years of constant vigilance, I no longer feel tempted to buy crap I don’t need.
We are making a cross-country move and it feels so nice to have the money saved to do it. Life no longer feels like it could be ripped apart at any moment because of unseen expenses.
Hope your mom is recovering nicely by now. It is always very scary to deal with a parent’s health issue especially if it may be potentially very serious.
As for unexpected expenses you needed to deal with, I am gonna say: That is what an Emergency Fund is for!
If I were you, I would sit down to calculate the extra money you had to spend and take it out of the EF (hoping it was not over 1,000 USD).Then, I would start to fund it again back to where it should be. Emergency Funds tend to fluctuate during time and it is only natural. Once an EF is sizable to cover several months worth of living expenses, you will feel a lot safer. I know, I do.
Glad to hear your mom is ok and on the mend! I think saving for your EF is an excellent idea. I’m in month#1 of doing just that and will continue until the end of the year. I’m finding it a challenge to save instead of applying it to debt (our mortgage). I so badly want to get started on paying the house off, but I want and need at least 12 months of EF in order to feel more secure.
Don’t worry too much about getting off-track this last week. It was for good reason and stuff happens to all of us along the way. You just have to recalibrate and move on.
Goodluck Cathy, I find saving the emergency fund more difficult then paying off debt!
I agree – for too long it was an after thought. It wasn’t until the economy hit the skids in 2008 and we had layoffs that I got serious about saving 6 months worth of income. (I know they say 6 months of expenses, but it was much easier for me to calculate 6 months of take home pay than expenses.)
Now I have a line item for adding to my EF each month. It’s balanced out by paying off my mortgage ahead of time, but at least if I have to draw from the EF I only have to up the line item to start replenishing it.
Thanks Hannah! It’s interesting to see that others find it hard to save vs. having a finite debt to payoff. I have a number that I’ve set to save and a deadline to reach it, but it’s getting harder rather than easier to do this! Part of my problem is we already have 3-6 months saved and a good part of me feels like saving 12 months of expenses is overkill when we should be funding our retirement accounts just a bit more and paying off the house. I keep viewing it as setting ourselves back 7 more months.
I’m glad your momma is okay and hope she continues to get better!
I’m in the process of saving my emergency fund. Goal of $5000 and I find it to be the harder then paying off debt.
Paying off debt was easy because you’re so intense about it, I would have taken like 3 months or less to knock out $5k in debt.
I’ve been working on this emergency fund goal since last year! I will finally have $5k saved next paycheck and it’s already May.
I’ve actually written it down and now I feel bad, haha.
Dave Ramsey recommends saving your emergency fund before paying off debt and for just this sort of situation. I did that, and after paying off all my debt continue to add to the EF. It feels really good to know that I can buy a car cash, or remodel my home with cash. With as much money as you’ve been throwing at your debt and only a couple more debts to go, you should really think about getting your emergency fund up to snuff and paying off just a little less debt each month.
The 3-6 month EF is Baby Step #3 in Dave Ramsey’s plan AFTER paying off consumer debt (not including mortgage). He only recommends saving $1,000-$2,000 in an EF before going all gazelle-like in debt payoff.
Trouble is, 3-6 months is not good enough anymore. That was fine pre-2008, but now the reality is more like 9-12 months if not longer.
We finally reached the goal of 6 months income in saving. I went with the “income” definition of an emergency fund rather than expenses because I assume that if something happens that necessitates dipping into the fund, there will be extra expenses, and who knows how high extra.