by Hope
Ashley posted a few weeks ago about Charitable Donations and if memory serves, the consensus on actually monetary was giving pretty split down the middle. I have not formulated opinion on that quite yet, but I do know that I MUST give back. I’ve constantly sought ways for us to give back to our community in action rather than money, because let’s face it, we have way more expendable time than we do money.
We’ve volunteered in the local public school, worked with Serve the City and posted ads on churches bulletin looking for opportunities for all of us to work together.
My heart is for children, you’d probably already guessed that. The thought of a child growing up without a family here in America or what’s called aging out breaks my heart in two and if I had the space, I would take them all, seriously! But since we added the bedroom in January we have been actively seeking a foster child/adoptive placement. This weekend, we will host a child. It’s just a short term placement, and the state does compensate for it, it’s called respite care. But it will give us a good idea of how the dynamic will change in our home with another child is added to the equation.
My being a foster parent and taking in children is not up for discussion… that is probably the one thing that comes above my debt payoff. But what I would like to hear about is the ways that you find to give back that do not involve money….your talent, your time, your tools? I think the world as a whole would be exponentially better if everyone took time every week to give in that way.
Hope is a creative, solutions-focused business manager helping clients grow their business and work more efficiently by leveraging expertise in project management, digital marketing, & tech solutions. She’s recently become an empty nester as her 5 foster/adoptive kids have spread their wings. She lives with her 3 dogs in a small town in NE Georgia and prefers the mountains to the beaches any day. She struggles with the travel bug and is doing her best to help each of her kids as their finish schooling and become independent (but it’s hard!) She has run her own consulting company for almost twenty years! Hope began sharing her journey with the BAD community in the Spring of 2015 and feels like she has finally in a place to really focus on making wise financial decisions.
In the past I have volunteered with school fundraisers, PTSA and my children’s sports events. I helped build a Rose Parade float once too. My main volunteer commitment is fundraising for our local library through helping with book sales and now also as President of the Friends of the Library. One thing I haven’t done for them but think about is to be a literacy volunteer and work with one person at a time to improve their reading level. Our city has opportunities for many one time volunteer events for families throughout the year so perhaps yours does too. Try calling your local United Way or similar agency to find out how to find them.
Oh yeah – I love volunteering for the library too. I forgot that one!
Hi Hope, just wanted to say I love your commitment to fostering and adoption–keep up the good work! I love that you just said up front “this is non-negotiable.” I agree that as important as debt payoff is you have to keep the values you’re most passionate about primary–as long as they aren’t values of shopping and five star restaurants 🙂
AY says it well.
A big thing for me is that charity begins at home. Most our efforts right now go to supporting the kids’ K-8 school.
Charity, otherwise, has taken a huge backseat since we have had kids. I quit the last organization I volunteered for the second I Was pregnant, because I did not feel well and was working with sick animals and was concerned with disease and so on. My kids are almost getting old enough that they can do regular volunteer work with me and I look forward to that. Top of my list is volunteering at the animal shelter. I also like one-time things we can sign up for, like park clean ups (non commitments). Soup kitchens, because I also like to cook. {I have not done much at all since having kids, but I work full time and am raising kids. My spouse is home full time and gives endlessly of his time. He also volunteers at local public TV station, because that is his passion. I figure I will pick up the slack eventually, and am okay with it because he does so much}.
Like your foster care experience, charity is more than “charity”. My spouse is always helping out a single parent or a working parent with picking up kids from school or some babysitting. I’ve always preferred to help friends and loved ones over faceless charities. Our family has been some through some very trying medical trials this past few years. We were the only ones in our peer group who seemed to be able to handle things and to HELP when our parents and grandparents needed the favor returned (their own medical ordeals). That is important to us. IF we are taken care of and our loved ones are taken care of, and we contribute to our community; all of that comes first for us.
P.S. Reminds me, we also always have at least one shelter pet, which is a long-term charity commitment, I suppose.
Great discussion idea…for Lent, I decided to try to send, give, etc. One encouraging note a day to someone. I can’t tell you the number of people that told me how that little act made them feel. Some posted it on their bulletin board, one lady said she kept a box of these and on bad days, she would take them out and re-read them. This is something I will continue doing and it is very inexpensive. I know how it makes me feel to be encouraged.
I love this idea! I recently invited a friend out for coffee to celebrate her birthday and she was very happy. Her husband has early Alzheimer’s and her children live far away so I don’t think her birthday gets celebrated much. Even if it does it is the I’m thinking of you part that matters.
With a severely disabled child that requires 24/7 care, I have virtually no time so that isn’t an option. While I donate regulary (financially) to the church and our local food shelter, the greatest reward I had was a few years ago and it was only $20 (I know you said time not money but hey.). Anyway, it was around Christmas time and a blogger that I read regularly had been unemployed for a long time. I was saving for my home and I had been really frugal on everything but I kept feeling that I wanted to send her $20. I didn’t even know her address. We had corresponded several times via email so I asked for her address to send her a Christmas card. I enclosed $20 saying something to the effect that she could put it towards Christmas dinner. I knew that $20 would buy a lot of groceries when you don’t have any money (wished I could have sent more). Well, you thought I had sent her $1000. Both her and her son cried when they got the money. She insisted on paying it back but I refused telling her that she had to “pay it forward”. I explained that someone did something nice for me and I wanted to pay it forward. For me, that was really rewarding.
As for what to do, I can tell you what would mean the world to me and is something so simple that people wouldn’t think twice. I wish people would teach their children to talk to the disabled. My son is 22 years old, can’t speak and is in a wheelchair. He’s pretty handsome and when he’s in a wheelchair, he probably looks like he might be able to talk but he can’t. We go for walks in our area and many people will say hello to us and many will talk to me. What would be more meaningful is for strangers to say hello to my son and compliment him on his clothes or say something to him about anything. It doesn’t have to be a lot. It would give us something to talk about. He would be so excited. And if it were a pretty young lady who did that, he’d be over the moon and would probably stare at her way too long and give her a big smile,lol. Even something as simple as kids riding on a bike….just teaching them to say hello to anyone in a wheelchair is great. The best is when the kids say something to a disabled child that is the same age. Kids love peer interaction. My son loves kids and is really social. When he was in school it was never an issue but now that he is out of school, peer interaction is lacking. My neighbors are friendly and acknowledge him but when we’re out and about, that is when it would be great. Sometimes, the smallest things mean the most.
For your family, I think your answers are with your adopted children. Why not ask them what would mean the most to them before they were adopted? Take you cue from that and maybe do something for kids who are in a boys home or whatever.
Finally, I think it’s beautiful that you are taking a child in…I’ve always thought that if my son dies, I might want to be a foster mother for another special needs child. My son has a progressive neurological disease and is medically fragile so I can’t do it now but it’s something that I always thought about doing. I’ve been torn between a special needs child or teenage boys for foster care. I used to babysit for 6 boys and 1 girl when I was a teenager and the boys always kept me laughing and were so much fun that I’ve always had a soft spot for them.
Hope! You are awesome. My husband and I are animal people, and we live in a small space, and we’ve talked before about how we would foster animals if we had the space and our building allowed more than the 3 animals we had. I think I feel about animals the way you do about children. I hope you don’t mind the animal/human comparison.
So how do we give back? My dog and I are a Therapy Animal Team. While it cost take the course and to be registered, we don’t pay anything to give back when we go to schools or nursing homes. We do 2-3 visits per week. Klaus (the dog) is very well received wherever we go. At the nursing home the residents tell us how they miss having pets, and at the school (a university) we work at as part of the school’s mental health programming, the students tell us how they miss family pets while they are away for the school year. It’s really a joy to watch my dog “work.”
Since we are new to being a Therapy Team we are taking it slow and not burn myself out, but my plan is to also volunteer at the local shelter on weeks the dog and I don’t work. My boss has been awesome and lets me adjust my hours so I can work a half-day every week to volunteer. Like you said, if everyone did a little something every week…