by Ashley
We’re nearing the end of the semester at my university and this time of year is notoriously crazy. Fortunately, I’m seeing a light at the end of the tunnel (and the cruise! Can’t wait!!!). But the past 4 weeks have been insane. It hasn’t helped that I haven’t had weekends to catch up on things, either! Last weekend I had a 2-day workshop that I hosted and ran (= TONS of work, not to mention the whole weekend was taken). The weekend before, hubs was out of town the entire weekend for a conference (= quality mommy-daughter time, but impossible to catch up on other household or work tasks because there’s no “time off”). So it’s felt like the past 3 weeks were just one continuous week with no end in sight. I’m really looking forward to this weekend.
But there’s one thing…
I’ve let time get away from me. The first time I sat down to reconcile the budget this month wasn’t until just a couple days ago (usually I enter purchases pretty immediately). I sat down and typed in all the numbers and discovered that we’d already blown our entire restaurant budget for the month…only 1/3 of the way through the month.
It’s kind of ironic coming on the tail of last month, where I’d finally tamed our food budget and was talking about what an impact meal planning and food prep had been making. This month has included far too many nights where I’ve had to unexpectedly work late, resulting in a quick run to a sandwich shop or chick-fil-a on my way home so the kids could eat immediately and not wait for food to be cooked. We’ve also been dealing with more illness (this entire semester has been back-to-back sickness! It’s been tough!). There was a solid week straight that was affected as first one child had a stomach virus, then me, then hubs, then other child. While hubs and I were sick (and our bugs overlapped. Ugh!), it was impossible to cook food for the kids, but they still needed to be fed. Take-out pizza to the rescue! I think you’re seeing the general trend.
Realizing what’s happened, I’m going to buckle down and try to have no more eating out for the rest of the month. That being said, we luck out a little since our cruise is on the horizon. Any “eating out” at that time will come from our cruise budget (not our regular eating out budget). However, my mother-in-law is coming out to help travel with the kids. While she’s here we’ve always treated her to at least one meal out at a local restaurant, so I know there’s going to be at least one more eating out expense.
It’s tough. There are giant peaks and valleys in academia. During summer, things are pretty tame. But right now I’m getting my butt whipped and just barely treading water as I keep battling illness, trying to plan for a vacation, etc. I’ll be honest. Early in our debt-reduction mission I might face this type of challenge with gumption and determination. Right now though…..when I added all the numbers and saw we’d blown the budget….I just felt defeated. Like it’s not even possible to go the rest of the month without any more eating out.
I really am going to try my hardest, but just wanted to be honest about my feelings. Don’t know whether the difference can be attributed to just the craziness of this time of year with work, or whether its a more general issue of being so entrenched in debt-reduction. It’s no longer this shiny new thing that I’m just beginning. I’m still just as dedicated to get out of debt, but I now feel like I’m dead in the middle of an ultra-marathon. I’ve come so far, but still have so far left to go and digging deep to find the energy to continue isn’t always easy.
I’ll just keep pressing forward.
How do you handle disappointment when you realize you’ve blown your budget? How do you continue with resolve rather than simply blowing off the rest of the month? What do you do to keep your spirits high?
Hi, I’m Ashley! Arizonan on paper, Texan at heart. Lover of running, blogging, and all things cheeeeese. Freshly 40, married mother of two, working in academia. Trying to finally (finally!) pay off that ridiculous 6-digit student loan debt!
I know exactly how you feel about spending too much when work gets crazy. I take the same shortcuts. One thing that is helpful is that, although my daughter is an extremely picky eater, she will always eat a peanut butter sandwich, so that and some yogurt and applesauce is a go-to dinner for us on many occasions. Can you keep quick prep foods like hot dogs and sandwich fixings on hand for busy nights? Supermarkets often also sell some prepared meals that can be spread into more than one. Growing up, we had a lot of roasted chicken from the supermarket when our parents had no time to prepare anything, with a side of carrots and potato chips. I now understand better why…
I could definitely get better at this! I do rely on the Costco rotisserie chicken (and I’ll whip up some steamed broccoli or whatever side really quickly), but I think I sometimes make dinner into a bigger “event” than it needs to be. Especially when hubs and I weren’t even eating since we were ill, there was really no reason I couldn’t have just thrown together sandwiches and pretzels/yogurt/etc for the kids to eat.
I wouldn’t worry too much about it. Mental health is worth blowing the budget in my opinion. The best thing you can do now is just be mindful of it. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking “since I’ve blown the budget already I might as well stop keeping track and/or caring” So cut back or plan ahead as you can. But other than that accept it, be mindful, and try to keep your sanity!
Remember that whatever you’re going over budget is not going to make or break you or keep you in debt significantly longer. Yes, if you’re in the situation where debt is because of outstanding bills you should not take this advice. But you’re in this for the long haul. No reason to beat yourself up too bad in a particularly stressful time. Even if you go over by $200 it wouldn’t even affect your payoff date by a month with the amount of money you are saving and throwing at debt.
You’re doing great!
I try to console myself with the fact that we can weather high spending months because we are thrifty the rest of the time. My father in law passed away earlier this year from cancer and the weeks around that time we spent a lot more then normal on eating out and gas. Not having to worry about money during that time because we had a safety net from previous frugal months was priceless, because needless to say there was already enough to worry about without adding money to the mix.
My advice to you, chalk it up to a bad month and start fresh next month. You are not getting behind in bills or taking on more debt, one bad month won’t break you.
When I notice I’ve totally blown the food budget early in the month (which was, um, this month), I turn to the freezer and pantry. After last weekend’s eating out extravaganza, I’ve turned quesadillas with a really random assortment of filling ingredients from the pantry, tacos with the rest of those random filling assortments, tuna melts, meatballs from some frozen ground beef with pasta and have used every fresh veggie in the fridge. I even subbed in some arugula for lettuce for the tacos, since I was using what I had on hand.
The fridge is looking pretty bare, but my grocery trip this past week was just for milk and coffee.
Great idea! I could certainly more creative about using the foods we already have on-hand!
Restaurants are the toughest category for me to stay on budget with. My son plays lacrosse and I’m often leaving straight from work to go to his games and I’ll even bring a peanut butter and jelly sandwich or something to eat on the way but then I see the cheeseburgers or hot dogs they’re selling at the concession stand or often afterwards he’s starving and we’ll stop at a fast food restaurant on the way home to eat.
YESSS!!! So far our only organized kids’ activity is swim lessons, which we do on the weekend, so we haven’t encountered this yet. But I can DEFINITELY see it being an issue in the future!!!
It might just be fatigue in general, and not debt-payoff fatigue. You are in a completely different place than you were when you started. Don’t underestimate how tiring, particularly mentally, worrying about a loved one’s health can be. Give yourself some grace, and don’t go too far the other direction in trying to make up the difference. Go back to the habits you’ve mastered and forgive yourself for being human!
Agree with the above. Also, unless you have a difficult relationship with MIL, you don’t have to take her out to dinner. She’ll understand, especially so close to a holiday.
It happens… A few ideas: work down the pantry and freezer and try to only buy produce and milk. We always seem to have some quinoa or pasta or canned beans hanging around.
Maybe when it’s quieter over the summer cook extra and freeze it.
Do you have those meal prep places in AZ where they provide everything and you go assemble it? That would be a good way to fill the freezer, and you could ask for it as a birthday or Christmas present!
That’s a great idea! I should look into whether we’ve got those in town! Even if not, I could kind of do it myself if I plan ahead and just make it happen. I was actually planning to do this right before the cruise, too. We have a pet-sitter/friends watching our dog when we go out of town and the family REFUSES to accept money. The problem is that we really want to give them something for our appreciation because its not easy/convenient to pet-sit for a full week. I’ve thought I would make a few freezer meals for them to leave in our fridge because they can’t refuse if it’s already made/prepared (don’t want it to go to waste!), and its a good compromise since its not literally giving them cash or a gift card. I’m planning to double 3 recipes so I’ll make 3 for the pet-sitters and 3 for our family when we return from vacation.
I blow at least 1 budget every month, usually only a week or two into the month as you have here. BUT!! Because we use YNAB, we can roll with the punches! I don’t even bother getting down on myself because I know I can cover the overspending elsewhere. Life happens, you just have to take it in stride.
I do this too, but I have no excuse – single, no kids, live alone. My delivery pizza bill is shameful. But I have a very stressful job and commute using three forms of public transportation which takes over an hour each way. Also, I’m a very lazy cook.
Since it’s just me, I’ve learned to “go with my flow.” The more I fight against my nature, the worse things get and the worse I feel. Since adopting this new motto, I’ve learned that on weeknights I’m not cooking. It’s just not going to happen, even if I have all of the ingredients and the recipe is sitting on the counter. Now I “assemble” my meals instead of cooking them. On weekends I may make something that can be eaten throughout the week, or most likely I’ll buy stuff that can be assembled quickly. One of my staples is rotisserie chicken from the grocery store. If I buy one on Sunday it’ll last me the week. I also make sure I have some quick items like pre-made potato or pasta salad, cut vegetables, pre-made rice, etc (either prepared myself or bought at the store). That way I just have to open my fridge and put things on a plate.
I realize this is more complex since you have a spouse and children, but the concept is the same. Do what you know already works for you. If you love a meal and eat if often, see if there’s a way to pre-make or pre-buy it. That way it’s done ahead of time. And sandwiches, lots of sandwiches.
You’re not doing too much damage so don’t be too hard on yourself. I had a shocker of a month in March with my grocery budget, so this month I’m tracking spending more closely and I’ve banned myself from the corner shop. I also think having some spending money or a planned treat – like the cruise – helps reduce the risk of overspending.
You just can’t do all the things; no one can. Your energy margins are slim when you work so much and have young kids. You’ve made great progress so far, and you’ll make great progress again in the future. Right now you just need to do what you have to, to make it through. I’m glad you have the cruise coming up!
I think you are doing great! Sometime you just need to do what you need to do to get through stressful times. This will not have a big impact on your overall debt payoff. I know you will come up with strategies to limit the eating out in future months.
I was glad to hear that MIL is coming to travel with your hubs and girls to Texas. I know he could have made the trip himself but it would have been quite stressful on him with two toddlers. It would also have been stressful on your children as well.
All of you need to have a wonderful cruise!
Thanks! Yeah, hubs pushed to do the drive alone with the girls but I was really uncomfortable with it. I think he’s looking back on previous trips with a bit of rose-colored glasses, thinking things would be totally fine (when, in reality, I spend at least 1/3 of the trip wedged between the girls’ car seats in the back to entertain them and keep them happy). I think there’s no way ANY adult could make that kind of trip (14 hours) in a single day with only 1 adult. At least not safely. Or it would turn into a 20 hour trip, etc.
Ultimately, my MIL was thrilled to be asked and we decided it’d be cheaper to buy 1 flight (for MIL) versus 2 flights (for both girls to fly with me). Hubs is terrified of flying and refuses to do so, so he’d be driving regardless. MIL is retired so she has the time available and I know she’s really excited about spending so much time with the kiddos!
Sometimes life just gets in the way – and one small blowout is not the end of the world.
I used to make up a double batch of spaghetti bolognese sauce up every couple of months and freeze it, in portions just enough to feed my daughter and I for one meal, freezing it flat in those zip lock sandwich bags. That meant that it was frozen in a thin square layer if that makes sense.
Then, if we were having a super late night, or I was exhausted (single mum working full time…) I could throw the pasta on to boil on the stove and put the frozen sauce (in the sandwich bag) into the water while the pasta cooked. The sauce would defrost and warm through in the bag and then I could just open the bag and pour over the pasta when it was cooked. Dinner done in the 8 – 11 minutes it took to boil the pasta.
Same thing worked for curried sausages and rice.
It saved me feeding my daughter rubbish when things were tough – we have only a couple of takeaway options where I live, nothing healthy. Plus, because the sandwich bags were stored flat, I could stack up a good number of them and they took up very little space in the freezer.
hey question on this – the ziploc doesn’t melt?
That’s a really great idea! I’ve never heard of or thought to cook that way, but it’s quite efficient!
That’s great idea! When you are trying to save money, the first thing to do is to check out your largest expenses and see if they can be cut. For most people, that means housing, vehicles, and food. Since changes to your home or car may take a little time, let’s see how fast you can save money on food.
Hi debtor – nope, never been a problem.
I’ll put a rider on that – I’m in Australia. I’m not sure if ziplock bags differ around the world 🙂
Whenever I blow the budget like this I try to step back and take an objective look at why. Sometimes it really is my own fault, but for months like the one you had I just chalk it up to life. I’ve also had those times when I have to work late and all I can manage to eat is something from a restaurant or a more expensive prepared meal from the grocery store. It happens.