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Coffee Date

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Hi Friends! I know I said it in my last post, but I’ve really missed you guys! This has been the longest hiatus I’ve ever taken since I started blogging 3 and a half years ago (<how has it been that long?!?)

So before diving straight into fully-financial posts, I wanted to just do a casual coffee date today. It’s as if we’re buddies meeting up for a cup of Joe, catching up on each other’s’ lives. See some past coffee chats here or here.

If we were having coffee today, I’d tell you how much I’m looking forward to some true Fall weather. Here in Tucson it’s still over 100 degrees F every day. I’ve been working out in the 5am hour and even at that time it’s already in the low 80s. I’m ready to bust out my fall decorations, drink some homemade pumpkin spice lattes, and cuddle up on our back porch in an oversized sweater while feeling the crisp in the air.

Exercise

Speaking of exercising at 5am, I’m training for another race. Last November I did my 3rd half-marathon. This November I’m signed up to do a Ragnar relay race. For those unfamiliar with Ragnar, these are running races that last 24+ hours. The traditional style of run is a road race, but the run I’m signed up for is a trail run in McDowell, AZ. I’m on a team of 8 and we will each run 3 legs (approx. 5 miles each) over the 24-ish hour span of time. I’m starting week 5 (of 12) of training and have really been enjoying it! I’ve always been a solitary runner. I’m not very fast and have never joined any running groups, etc. But my team (consisting of members of my department at school) has been meeting up on weekends to do our trail runs together and it’s been so fun having a group to sweat with, and to help keep me accountable when I’m not wanting to roll out of bed at 5am on a Sunday morning! Ha!

What about you? Are you working toward any goals or doing any type of diet or exercise regimen right now?

Texas Family

So much has been going on with my Texas family lately! All are located in Austin, so they were inland enough to be spared of any serious Hurricane Harvey damage. Remember that my mom and stepdad both broke their arms back in early July? They have lots of physical therapy and rehab ahead, but they’re both on the mend and expected to make a full recovery! My little sister welcomed a new bundle of joy to the world in late August! The delivery was smooth and easy and the baby has been a perfect angel – sleeps and eats well and only fusses when hungry, tired, or wet. She says it’s their 3-year-old whose been the problem. Tough transition from 1 child to 2, but they’re doing well. We believe my Dad is in the process of experiencing another step-down with his dementia. He was diagnosed with frontotemporal degeneration back in August 2015 and is currently living in an assisted living memory care facility. Frontotemporal degeneration (FTD) has been woefully understudied, so I can’t say anything definitive from a medical perspective, but several patients with FTD experience absolutely debilitating neurologic pain in the areas of their brain that are degenerating. I believe this corresponds with neuronal death. The pain is often associated with a “step down” in cognitive functioning. FTD is not a slow, gradual decline. Instead, it’s marked by periods of stasis, followed by rapid decline, then another period of stasis, etc. The periods of stasis can last weeks or months. The past few days have been painful ones for my Dad so we’re expecting another decline. His language has been impacted first and he’s really having a tough time with it these days. It’s hard for me because, living in Arizona with my Dad in Texas, our primary form of keeping in touch is phone conversations. I send pictures and letters, but we talk and/or text daily. It’s becoming increasingly challenging, though, as it upsets him when he doesn’t understand me (which is happening with increasing frequency).

How are your parents doing? No health issues, I hope?

Husband 

Hubs is doing well, but has had a tough time not working since his business closed down a few months ago. He used to be a flooring contractor but is now back in school for engineering and cannot sustain a full-time job. The cost of all the licenses and insurance were too much to justify renewal so he let the business come to a natural conclusion when everything came up for renewal. While he’s done well in school (last semester was his first one back full-time), I think it’s been a big transition for our entire family for him to not be working. He’s used to having his own income and additional spending money and it’s been tough to balance wants and needs within our family budget. I mentioned how my first full-time paycheck was a bit of a shock. Much lower than I’d been expecting. Budgeting is still a work in progress, and one I’ll be talking a lot more about in future posts. On the bright side of things, hubs is also in the process of obtaining his personal training certificate. He’s midway through the program and will be done in mid-October (juggling it along with his course load). He’s hoping to be able to pick up some part-time work after he receives his certification so that he can make enough money to cover his own personal effects and expenses while in school. He may be able to contribute a little to the household too, but even if he’s only able to cover his own wants and needs it will be a big help. Hubs has always been the “breadwinner” in our family, so having the roles reversed and being in a position where basically every expense is discussed (and budgeted) has been a change for him. (Edited to add: Check out this throwback post I wrote years ago about Our Financial Relationship for more background info.).

How’s your spouse, partner, girlfriend/girlfriend, significant other? Single? Are you on the dating scene? Any funny stories or interesting people you’ve met recently?

Kids

The kids (5-year old twins) are now a month-deep into kindergarten and they just got a new teacher! Yup. The old one, while kind, was having a lot of personal problems that interfered with her ability to do her best work. I was worried when I saw the stark contrast in what my kids were doing compared to the kindergarten kids in other classes (I’m friends with other moms and the curriculum is supposed to be the same for the whole grade). While I do feel bad for the old teacher and hope that she finds some peace in her life, I’m beyond relieved that my kids got their new teacher. She has been absolutely fabulous and it’s just the breath of fresh air that we needed. She jumped right into the role, hit the ground running, and I’m so impressed with how much the kids already love her! It gives me warm-fuzzies and makes me confident that they’re at the right school (we chose a charter school, as the public schools in our area don’t have the best ratings). They have been doing karate the past few months and, while I absolutely love it and all it’s done for them (boosting self-confidence, increasing independence, etc.), we’ve made the tough decision to cancel our membership for the time being, September being our last month. It was costing $150/person/month. At $300/month in total, we just can’t continue to afford it. It doesn’t fit within our budget. The girls do still participate in a gymnastics program, but it costs less than half that amount ($65/person/month; $130 for both per month). We like for them to be involved in extracurriculars, but can’t be paying nearly $500 a month for it!  At $130/month we feel comfortable. We also try to only do one activity at a time. So far they’ve done ballet, swimming, karate, and gymnastics. I’d love for them to be involved in some type of music lessons and I want them to do some team sports (like soccer!), but right now just be sticking with gymnastics.

How are your kids? Are they involved in any extracurricular activities right now? How do you find quality ones that don’t break the bank?

Work

Work is going great! I’m now only doing my one full-time job (up until a couple months ago I’d been working full-time plus a part-time job). I thought I’d have all this extra time on my hands once the part-time job ended but of course that’s never the case. I do think I have more time, I’ve just filled it with other things (like my 5am workouts – which used to be 5am emails and work). I also have more time to do my meal planning, shopping sales, and food prep. So we have less money, but I think my life has more balance. And with any luck (and a lot of planning and prep), hopefully I can save enough money to offset the loss-of-income from the part-time job. We shall see. One big area I will be targeting is FOOD costs. More info to come.

How’s your job? Things with your boss? Your co-workers?

 

I hope everyone is staying safe! My thoughts are with anyone impacted by Irma! I did my Masters degree at Florida Atlantic University in Boca Raton (about an hour north of Miami, right on the coast) and I still have lots of friends in the area. Thinking about all of you! Also, on this Patriot’s Day, I want to take a moment to acknowledge and thank all first responders and helping professions (nurses, doctors, paramedics, etc. etc.). I don’t have the gumption to do that type of work and our country would be lost without it, so thank you to those of you selfless enough to go into these professions! Thoughts with any/all who were impacted by the events on 9/11.

 

Hugs to you all! Stay safe out there!

~Ashley


13 Comments

  • Reply Laura |

    We use our local YMCA for after school care and extra Curricular activities. They are very affordable. We’ve done soccer, martial arts, tennis and swimming lessons with them. Tennis was the most important expensive activity at $60/month.

      • Reply Ashley |

        Wow, sounds like a deal if that was the most expensive! The nearest YMCA isn’t super close by, but it might still be worth it if we could find deals like that. I’ll have to look into it!

  • Reply Felicity |

    “Hubs has always been the “breadwinner” in our family, so having the roles reversed and being in a position where basically every expense is discussed (and budgeted) has been a change for him.”

    I guess I didn’t realize that you weren’t discussing/budgeting all of your expenses before.

    • Reply Ashley |

      We do discuss our family budget, but it was different when hubs had his own source of income. I wrote a whole post about our financial relationship when I first started blogging that will likely explain a lot more. Check it out here: https://www.bloggingawaydebt.com/2014/04/our-financial-relationship/

  • Reply Kili |

    Thanks for the update.
    That’s some dedication to get up this early for the workouts. When do you go to bed to be able to wake up this early?

    Congrats to the new nephew/niece

  • Reply Katie |

    Welcome back. I’ll just add one comment. If your girls are in full-day kindergarten it is extremely tiring. Cutting back on activities makes sense not just from a financial perspective. My kids were so exhausted at the beginning that they were falling asleep at dinner, and by Fridays would be absolute wrecks. It takes until about November to really get over the hump, so keeping them in limited extracurriculars is the way to go.

    • Reply Ashley |

      The “full day” kinder still ends at 3 where we are. So we have to pay for aftercare, too. The gymnastics program actually comes during aftercare directly to their school so it couldn’t be more convenient/easier. Karate was (is) at a different place though.

  • Reply Nicole |

    So happy you’re still blogging here, Ashley!

    Try checking into community recreation programs. Even outside your own town/village/city. My husband did Tae Kwan Do for years (quit right before black belt) through a local village program. It was around $25 for an 8 week session, one night per week (extra charge for uniform, competitions, belt testing, etc.) Even if you didn’t live in that village, it was about $35. Several parent friends have enrolled their kids in the program, and they have many sports options as well.

  • Reply Jean |

    Hi Ashley!

    I’ve been a slacker on exercise b/c of a shoulder impingement. Went to PT but it’s still not 100% – chiro & massage helped some. Now I’m going to look into acupuncture.

    My mom FINALLY has her (our) old house on the market – a YEAR after she moved into her new house (my dad passed away 2 years ago this coming December). She wants to keep EVERYTHING. It’s been so frustrating. I feel bad for not helping more, but I can’t enable her hoarding. She ‘only’ has the garage left at the old house to clean out – and then she can start working on the garage/basement in her new house (can’t park in her 2-car garage at the moment). SIGH…

    My husband retired at the end of last year. He was only home on his days off for the first 2+ years we were married (2nd marriage for both) so it’s been quite an adjustment! He’s working PT at a golf course cutting grass so he’s at work at 6AM – so much for retirement! He’s enjoying being outside, though. It was a wet Spring & cool Summer, so who knows what Fall & Winter will bring!

    Work is busy; we are getting ready for a biennial audit in November and everyone wants their manuals updated. We also discovered in a pre-audit exercise that there are departmental manuals that aren’t compliant so we get to add some new work to our plates as well!

    I have two free airline tickets that have to be used by the end of next year, so we’re trying to decide where to go: Hawaii or Europe?

So, what do you think ?