by Hope
For any new readers, my youngest son (age 13) has been a competitive gymnast for 6 years now. This would have been his 7th competitive season, and he was slated to move up to Level 8. Level 10 is collegiate. He’s very good.
Up until this year, he has trained year round with very few breaks. But in May, I made the decision to pull him out for a number of reasons.
The Costs of Training
But needless to say, with this level of competition, there are numerous other commitments. He trained 1 hour from our home. Last year, he was going 4x week, and this week he was to go 5x a week. 20+ hours a week in the gym. The costs added up:
- 10+ hours a week in the car = over $100 a week in gas. Compared to $35 a week this summer while he wasn’t training.
- Training 16+ hours a week cost $260 per month. Which is very reasonable in terms of training costs, but when you are struggling already, it’s a large chunk.
- Sit and wait. Because it was so far from our home, I had to stay over there and wait for him every day. This not only affected what my other two children could do at home, but there are costs associated with that. I would often sit at the library, free, but there were times I needed a change of scenery and the weather was not conducive to being outside.
- Competition and travel costs. The season here runs from December to April. And he attended at least one meet per month during that time period. Over the years, the cost for the competitions has averaged around $600 per season. It’s the travel to those meets that could really add up.
The Benefits of Training
Now don’t get me wrong. Gymnastics was not all work and financial pain. Gymnast is REALLY good and thrives in this individual sport.
In fact, you can watch a compilation of one of his meets from his Level 7 season (2018) on YouTube here.
In addition to his obvious talent and love of the sport, there were other benefits based on our current living situation:
- The city where he trains is where I go once a week for grocery shopping, ie Sam’s Club. And the gas in that state is typically $0.20 less then where we will so I always get gas when I’m there.
- Sitting there for 16+ hours gave me plenty of time to focus on work. Even when I was working a corporate job during the day, I was able to keep up with my contract work with this dedicated, uninterrupted work time.
- My 13 year old has always been my “high maintenance” child. He has two energy levels – wide open and asleep. I’ve noticed a significant change in his demeanor with the lack of high energy activity. He has not outlet and he NEEDS that. We as a family NEED him to have that.
I see some maturity peeking it’s head out on occasion these days. I think he is ready to return to the sport he loves…with conditions.
The Compromise
Pulling him out was not just a financial decision. There were several other factors that came into play.
My willingness to compromise is the same. And he is aware that his return is conditional on several behavioral factors in addition to the money. His coach is also aware of this and supportive of the situation.
Here’s the plan:
- For the next two months, he will get to go to gymnastics 1x per week for 4 hours. It will cost $100 per month for this. But it should not add to any other costs as I will use the time for my grocery shopping and work time.
- In October, when Princess volleyball season is over, I will consider allowing him to go 2x per week. That will cost $160 per month for the training, and add a little bit to the gas budget.
- At this point, he will not be competing at all this year. We are calling it a maintenance program. (Now his coach did ask that if he is in the gym and working hard, would I consider letting him compete in one of the closer meets, and I said we will visit that when the season is upon us.)
- He is signing a behavior contract that incorporates behavior at home and in the gym. His continued access to gymnastics is contingent on him fulfilling and maintaining some behavioral changes.
Overall, he is very happy with the plan. Which I was surprised at. But I think after 2 1/2 months, he realizes that I am not making empty threats anymore (I have been guilty of that in the past.)
While I am not thrilled with the $100+ addition to my budget as I try to really focus on better decisions. I believe this is the best of both worlds, and a good compromise.
What do you think? Have you had to make this type of gut wrenching decision with your own kids or even for yourself?
Hope is a creative, solutions-focused business manager helping clients grow their business and work more efficiently by leveraging expertise in project management, digital marketing, & tech solutions. She’s recently become an empty nester as her 5 foster/adoptive kids have spread their wings. She lives with her 3 dogs in a small town in NE Georgia and prefers the mountains to the beaches any day. She struggles with the travel bug and is doing her best to help each of her kids as their finish schooling and become independent (but it’s hard!) She has run her own consulting company for almost twenty years! Hope began sharing her journey with the BAD community in the Spring of 2015 and feels like she has finally in a place to really focus on making wise financial decisions.
Hope – will the gym consider giving him a scholarship? Also you might look at cheer programs boys in those programs are almost guaranteed a college scholarship.
I think if and when you increase his time to 2 hours that you should require him to find some money to contribute to this. He just bought an expensive phone, some of that money could have gone to gymnastics training.(60 dollars x 12 months = $720) It’s your job to teach him that economics is about dealing with our unlimited wants with our limited means. I also think the healthy way to handle kids activities is to set a budget for these things and stick to it. For example if princess wants to compete in volleyball and you are going to take on that expense, she gets to pack her lunch so that the $80 dedicated to lunch goes towards volleyball. Let her decide what the priority is. She can have what she wants but it may come at the expense of something else. That’s how life works and that’s what she needs to learn to do to budget effectively herself. Likewise for gymnast, when he gets money for Christmas and birthdays he should be reminded if he wants more hours at the gym or to compete that he needs to contribute towards that and perhaps consider that when looking at the latest and greatest tech. They are old enough to consider fiscal decisions and be told that kids budget is x dol lars per month. They need to make things work within the confines of th at budget.
You’re a good mama, Hope. You’re doing what you have to do to keep two teenagers on the straight and narrow without a whole lot of support or people to bounce ideas off of. Your parental instincts appear to be spot on.