by Hope
I spent a full day last week apartment shopping with Princess. Holy Cow! It’s absolutely crazy the cost of rentals. From heart of the city in Atlanta to suburbs 20-30 miles out of the city, there were little to no options under $1,500 per month. It’s absolutely insane.
We looked at refurbished motels, ie completely unsafe, dumps to high rise tiny little studios. And everything in between. It was painful and an excruciatingly long day. And I think every single one of them called themselves “luxury living” on their signage or website. Like no reality in their descriptions or advertising.
Adulting is Hard
It was a hard day for Princess, as well. She learned a lot of hard lessons. We had lots of deep discussions. Lessons learned. We talked about the cost of time, ie commute time. We talked about the psychology of aesthetics. Are you really going to use the amenities they are “selling?” Are your guests even going to see the beautiful leasing office since they would come to visit you through the parking garage? (And it’s closed and locked up, outside your working hours.) Lots of psychology of selling lessons when you apartment shop.
We talked about the rule of real estate – it’s all about “location, location, location.” Although that didn’t seem to translate well since pricing was relatively similar in the variety of areas we looked at. We had a few standoffs…with her declaring “just let me do this.”
Back off, Mom
Finally, we went to dinner. Ran the numbers. And then I had to back off and let her process. It wasn’t my decision.
I had to sit there and just wait and watch. Ultimately, that is a parents job, isn’t it? It was hard.
So Proud
In the end, she made a solid, financially sound decision. It was not the one she wanted to make. And I couldn’t be more proud and excited for her.
Financial Implications
There are financial implications in this for me. More to come on that. But in the end, one more year and then all of my kiddos will be completely independent of me. One more year…
And better then that…not one of them will have college debt to deal with. I am proud of myself (and them) for that. Getting them started better than I did for myself.
Hope is a creative, solutions-focused business manager helping clients grow their business and work more efficiently by leveraging expertise in project management, digital marketing, & tech solutions. She’s recently become an empty nester as her 5 foster/adoptive kids have spread their wings. She lives with her 3 dogs in a small town in NE Georgia and prefers the mountains to the beaches any day. She struggles with the travel bug and is doing her best to help each of her kids as their finish schooling and become independent (but it’s hard!) She has run her own consulting company for almost twenty years! Hope began sharing her journey with the BAD community in the Spring of 2015 and feels like she has finally in a place to really focus on making wise financial decisions.
I know you want to, and probably previously agreed to it, but you are not in the position to be financially assisting your kids right now! A little over 6 months ago you were behind (or very close to it) on your mortgage, calling to get a deferral on your monthly bills, and accepting personal loans. You should not be offering to assist your kid monetarily unless it is an emergency. Living on your own is a privilege most people don’t reach until their mid 20s! Living on your own is not an emergency, no matter how bad previous roommate situations were.
Agreed – it sucks but sometimes you have to be upfront and say no. I am hoping all it is, is that the dog is going to stay with Hope another year!
Hmmm- I assume that she is looking for a place with roommates! No one I know lives alone in the early 20’s – roommates are the norm-no one that age can afford to live alone????
Oh, the way I interpreted her post is that she is going to end up helping out so Princess can get to live solo… Because living with room mate(s) and still needing the additoinal help is bonkers!
While I am happy Princess found a place, I worry about what the implications are for you. Can she still take the dog? Or are you keeping the dog and also helping her out for the last year? I was lucky because I live in a big city with transit options and lived at home all four years, I understand you don’t have that possibility. Maybe she needed to live with roomies to save money, but what’s done is done!
This is where your finances seem to spin out of control. Even looking at luxury apartments with a college student who can’t pay their own rent is some really crazy thinking. And now the cost of a dog so she isn’t afraid to live alone?
So, no roommates making rent ridiculous, and add dog care on top because of the decision for her to live alone? How about roommates so she saves money and doesn’t need a dog? Does this apartment building know that the retriever mix coming with her looks all the world like a pit bull?
My parents could afford to financially help me as much as they wanted, but as a college student, my job was to get roommates to cut the cost, or find a tiny apartment with an equivalent rent to a roommate situation by myself.
Would never, never, never, never have occurred to me or them that I should expect assistance with a luxury apartment with a dog subsidy on top of it.
I am also wondering why Princess isn’t looking for places with roommates. Sounds like you’ve already signed the lease so it’s too late now.
Hope I have been following for YEARS and in the time that you’ve been pottering around the edges and lurching from one “after this” to the next making excuses for not paying off your debts, I’ve completely cleared mine, saved $280k and bought a house. WHEN will you STOP making these ridiculously bad decisions and actually put your own oxygen on first?
I get wanting to help your kids but Princess could have made it for ONE LAST year. You’re stepping in because you think you have more money but you don’t. You’re still $60,000 in debt!! That makes everything unstable and your future is at risk. You’re not getting younger. Your hearing isn’t getting better. The economy isn’t getting better. What happens when you’re too old to work and you’re still in debt?????