by Hope
Note: I am writing this post before the post about my decision to sell my home and move next spring is published. I’m already foreseeing alot of commentary about what a terrible financial decision this is. And I get that. But in the end, this was not a financial decision, it was one made based prioritizing my emotional and mental health. And it was not made quickly or lightly, although I know that post makes it seems like it. But this was YEARS in the making.
That being said, I found it awfully telling that some reader found a very old post about my housing debacle from what 9 years ago here. And of course, their comment was spot on.
Thankfully, I have grown a lot and am in a very different place financially and just life, I guess. The kids are grown and gone. (Well, except Beauty, but I anticipate hearing from her within a month or two that she is making a move.)
Summary the Past
For those that don’t want to dig into that old post. It is a lot. Here’s a very high level summary. My dad purchased a house for me and my then two children, when I was at a crossroads and considering moving away from where we lived at the time.
Princess and I drove up to Virginia last fall to visit Sea Cadet and go to the VA State Fair. We drove by our old house and took this picture then.
I paid all the bills, the mortgage, utilities, improvements, etc. It just wasn’t in my name. Fast forward several years, and several adopted children later, and my dad decided that he wanted to sell the house. He gave me 30 days notice to move.
Me and my then 4 children moved to a 900 square foot apartment within the month.
(There is ALOT more to this on both sides. But that is the summary of what happened.)
The Now
You’ve all seen my current home. We’ve lived here since we moved to Georgia. First as a rental. And then I was able to purchase it from our landlord. It has been the most peace time of my life. And over the years, I have been able to remodel it exactly as I wanted.
The Future
Any one who has been around for a few years, knows that I have toyed with the idea of being more nomadic, maybe having a tiny home, or even car camping. Obviously, not something I would consider as an option while the kids were still dependent and home. But now…
Over the last couple of years, I have gotten more and more enamored with the idea of being nomadic for a while. While having a home base is important, now that it’s just me, I am very open to that home base not actually being a home. Maybe a storage unit with the few items I want to keep but not take with me. Perhaps one of my siblings homes where I can receive mail. Maybe even my parents’ house for longer stays.
I have no idea what direction I will go come next summer/fall after Princess graduates. I’ve begun researching – AirBnB stays in different cities, using a site like Overlander. Again, just research, no actual plans.
But again, I am truly just leaving it open ended and see what comes my way. This is what happened with my stay at Princess next summer. As soon as I told her I was planning to sell the house and possibly leave the state, she asked what would she do with Jake (Gymnast’ dog who is living with her) when she had to go out of state for her new job onboarding. And that became my first planned stop should I go completely nomadic. So we will see what’s next?! And I’m pretty excited about it.
Hope is a creative, solutions-focused business manager helping clients grow their business and work more efficiently by leveraging expertise in project management, digital marketing, & tech solutions. She’s recently become an empty nester as her 5 foster/adoptive kids have spread their wings. She lives with her 3 dogs in a small town in NE Georgia and prefers the mountains to the beaches any day. She struggles with the travel bug and is doing her best to help each of her kids as their finish schooling and become independent (but it’s hard!) She has run her own consulting company for almost twenty years! Hope began sharing her journey with the BAD community in the Spring of 2015 and feels like she has finally in a place to really focus on making wise financial decisions.
Chiming in because I don’t feel you are being totally authentic about the house your dad purchased. Per you own posts, it was purchased with the agreement you would buy it from him. You made the decision to back out of the deal, leaving him with a home he didn’t want. He had every right to sell that house as soon as he was able. Your initial posts said you may get money from it after he had been fully repaid, then it suddenly became you expected to make the money the house made. It was not your investment or risk, it was your dads. Your dad appears to have rescued you financially countless times, it seems unkind to throw him under the bus in this way.
There was never an agreement that I would buy the home. It was a stupid decision to accept the “rental” from him. It exceeded my max budget at the time. I should have left the state as was my plan at the time. But hindsight…
What on earth? Your own posts state in multiple places that you were planning to buy the house and working on getting your credit and savings in order to do so. Per your own posts, it clearly had a balloon payment or some type of financing that was coming due, hence his need/want to sell it quickly when you changed your mind. Im baffled why you would not be honest about this, it is all in your own words on this blog?
I just don’t see this as being feasible. Why can’t Gymnast keep his dog once Princess finishes school? You’re going to be wasting money on AirBNBs. Your income is not guarenteed beyond a year and you are not fully out of debt. We worry for you!
Gymnast lives with me sister and cannot house his dog. At this point my income is as stable as any job is these days. I do not have a termination/contract date, this is truly a full time job even though it’s contract.
I see. I just think your income is like any other job except it isn’t ? I can’t explain it, lol. But I think you can’t keep the dogs if you plan on going nomadic, that’s going to be a tough thing.
As I recall Hope, you told BAD readers at the time that you decided not to purchase the house from your father because it didn’t have enough bedrooms, and was in too high a cost-of-living area.
https://www.bloggingawaydebt.com/2014/08/the-best-laid-plans/
I’m pretty sure that any number of commenters told you that was an unwise idea. You replied, as you always do
I wish you would re read your February 9 2024 post. You’d then understand why many of us are scared for you.
Can I ask why my comment (and apparently anyone else’s) comments have not been approved and posted?
“ I decided that this is going to be my home, not my investment, so I am doing what will make me happy. I understand that this is contrary to what all real estate investors would say to do, but if I’m going to die in this house, well, for the first every I am looking forward to having a home that is just the way I want it.”
Four years ago.
Yes, and I have loved it. But ALOT has changed in 4 years and now…well, it’s time for a change.
I think what everyone is telling you here is that it is NOT the time for a change. Its time for you to get your financial house in order, pay off your debts, get some emergency and retirement savings and *then* make a change.
Of course feelings can change, but you don’t seem to understand that you are seemingly changing historical facts, even when pointed out that YOU WROTE that conflicting account yourself.
Most financial blogs are for personal accountability. None of us see that here.