by Hope
I realize that my choices are not for everyone. People here at BAD hate my kitchen remodel, couldn’t believe that I chose to homeschool my kids, never liked that I chose contract work over a corporate career, and I help my kids too much, etc. I could probably list a dozen other of my decisions that the BAD community has not liked about my choices.
And there are probably 1/2 of those that in hindsight, you were right about. Way too many cars, too much money/efforts spent on kids’ activities, etc. I definitely have made more than my share of screw ups.
But here’s the deal. For the first time in, well, as long as I can remember, I am on the cusp of what I cherish most. Freedom.
What’s in my favor
As I work toward selling my house and moving into my car, these are the things I believe are in my favor:
- Almost all if not absolutely all of my debt will be paid off with the sale of my house. *these numbers are dependent on how much my sells for, but I’ve got a plan for this and #2 based on that amount
- I will also have some money put away for when I do settle again. *these numbers are dependent on how much my sells for, but I’ve got a plan for this and #1 based on that amount
- I can easily live on what I am bringing in now after my debt is paid off, my mortgage is closed, and I no longer have utility bills.
- My car is paid off. It’s been well maintained. And there is no reason that I can’t go another 100K miles with just regular maintenance costs. This is wholly economical and gives me what I need to have the freedom to go and see the world, or at least the United States.
What about your family, your future
- My kids are all wholly independent and making wise financial choices. (I did something right.)
- I can help my mom and dad during her final time her on earth without the constant need to return back to Georgia.
- When I do decide to settle again, and I truly don’t have any clue where or when that could be, I will have everything (outside of a bed) to set home back up. I realize many of you think $79 for storage is crazy in this situation. But there are just things that I will not get rid of. And I won’t apologize for that.
- I can travel to my hearts content. Something else the BAD community has had issue with. I’ve tried out car camping over the last two years multiple times. I’ve read up on everything. I’ve planned extensively for what I need in my car and what I don’t. Starting when the must haves and a list for “future” should it become a longer term thing.
What’s the plan
Do I plan to see my family and spend time with them in Texas? Yes, absolutely. Especially while my mom is still living, so I can give my siblings and dad a break. They have been her full time care givers for almost 5 years now. (She’s been on hospice for 2 1/2 years now requiring 24 hour, complete care.)
Will I be able to contribute, yes. I will cook and make sure my dad eats real food. I will give my dad much needed breaks from the house. Have I asked and discussed ad nauseum these expectations with my dad, yes.
It won’t be easy. But we’ve already discussed me taking breaks and travelling for weeks or months at a time. My car is set up. I’ll share more on that later.
I will have two dogs with me. This is planned for. And they enjoy life on the road. (We didn’t think Cali would live into this year. But until it’s her time to go, she will stay with me.)
It’s not for everyone. It’s not forever. It’s not chaos. It’s exactly the type of adventure that I have longed for, for years, if not decades now.
Free at last
And I will be debt free. And staying debt free. Isn’t that what you want for me to do? This is the quickest route there.
Hope is a resourceful and solutions-driven business manager who has spent nearly two decades helping clients streamline their operations and grow their businesses through project management, digital marketing, and tech expertise. Recently transitioning from her role as a single mom of five foster/adoptive children to an empty nester, Hope is navigating the emotional and practical challenges of redefining her life while maintaining her determination to regain financial control and eliminate debt.
Living in a cozy small town in northeast Georgia with her three dogs, Hope cherishes the serenity of the mountains over the bustle of the beach. Though her kids are now finding their footing in the world—pursuing education, careers, and independence—she remains deeply committed to supporting them in this next chapter, even as she faces the bittersweet tug of letting go.
Since joining the Blogging Away Debt community in 2015, Hope has candidly shared her journey of financial ups and downs. Now, with a renewed focus and a clear path ahead, she’s ready to tackle her finances with the same passion and perseverance that she’s brought to her life and career. Through her writing, she continues to inspire others to confront their own financial challenges and strive for a brighter future.
Girl.. I really hope this is your debt free and remain debt free season!
You and me both! I am filled with hope that this is a huge turning point on so many levels.
I LOVED my mom season. But I definitely floundered and failed on so many levels especially financially during that season. Boy, if I had known then what I know now…
But this next season, I am looking forward to a whole different life.
But you DID know then what you know now. So many readers here have given you so much great advice and made suggestions that would have had you out of debt many many years ago with a healthy nest egg. And you chose to ignore them over and over based on “personal finance is personal” mantra. You are part of a debt blog to crowd source information. You have many people here who are in excellent financial health giving you solid advice, some of which you would have had to pay for if you saw them at work as they are professionals. You choose to ignore advice and reason and don’t answer really pertinent questions (like why your mortgage payments and loan balance went up) that could truly give you tailored information to help you.
am curious to hear about your car camping set up. and how you go about finding places to camp.
I will share more. It’s certainly a work in progress. And this next trip to Texas will not be set as a car camping trip as I will be transporting dogs…Jake, our 80lb retriever is moving to live with Gymanst (he is Gymnast dog). And Jake is not a good car rider. A 15 hour road trip is going to be a beast with him. And Addie will go too as she goes everywhere with me.
When I return from that trip, hopefully to a house under contract, we will complete the “build” for my car camping adventures. It’s not really a build because my Honda HRV is small. But we are getting creative with house to address some needs especially with my need of a workstation for my remote work.
I will share more along the way.
Hope, I only recently found BAD and have spent the last few weeks reading through your story. I agree that the BAD community has been very harsh over certain decisions, but I think a lot of it stems from frustration that you continually ignore decent, reasonable advice in favour of something that puts you further in debt or leaves you living paycheck to paycheck with no wriggle room. I don’t have kids, but I have greatly admired your dedication to looking after your own, even if I think at times you did so to your own detriment. I’m sure this will be unpopular, but for the short term, I actually think this is a great move. You’ve clearly always wanted to travel, you will eliminate most, if not all, of your debt, your work can be done from anywhere. The nomad lifestyle is becoming increasingly popular and I see no reason to not go for it.
However, note that I said in the short term. You are nearing retirement, and after that, as awful as it is to think about, the point where you physically/mentally won’t be able to do this. Your hearing is already less than stellar, and I assume if it goes too much, you won’t be allowed to drive? Obviously, these are reasons to travel sooner rather than later but what will you do when this time does catch up?
You can’t travel forever, no one can, and then what? Buying a home with your credit, savings (or apparent lack of) at a rate you can afford when everything is increasingly expensive (especially after retirement as to my knowledge, you have a very poor amount for retirement stipend), add in the cost of increased medical needs… You see where I’m going, right?
I’m not saying this is a bad decision, but I implore you to really think about the long-term implications. Where will you finally stop? Will you be able to afford to? How much of a burden will it cause your kids, since they are likely going to have to shoulder the brunt of your finances in later life? You need a solid plan for your money. If you’re not going to have many overhead expenses, this is the time to hammer your savings, and truly plan for your retirement, as at the moment, I fear you’ll be left stranded, unable to afford a property, and relying on the kindness of your family/children.
I’m not trying to be harsh. I think that this is clearly a dream come true and I do urge you to pursue it. I just think you also haven’t considered/planned for the implications later down the line and you need to start putting a plan into motion now. I also think, as many readers have suggested, that therapy would be incredibly beneficial. It does seem like you thrive more in chaos and I think that’s worth examining before you make such a big leap.
I really wish you the best, as despite the many ways you have made mistakes, it’s clear you have a large heart and try your best for your family. You just need to be able to look past their wants/needs in the moment to their wants/needs 5, 10, 15 years down the line, and pick the option that offers long-term stability for them. X
First off, welcome! And thank you for your thoughtful response. I appreciate that you can see that this freedom to travel extensively for a while is a dream come true for me. It’s not a forever plan. It’s a for now plan.
I have obligations that will keep me pretty contained through August if not longer. Care for my mom, my daughter’s college graduation, my other daughter’s wedding in the fall, etc. I believe that selling the house is in the best interest financially.
Remove the debt, provide a cushion for what’s next. The plan is to continue pursuing a full time corporate role. But in the meantime, I’ve now contracted out to make more than $6K per month (as of yesterday, contracts are signed.) And more work is coming.
If you read my past, the last 10-ish years of income have been really rocky. Prior to that, I had very stable income. And very bad financial decisions. I believe I am smarter now. Definitely have more self control. And a whole lot less responsibility as far as raising 5 kids as a single parent.
I am thinking long term. I have been for several years now. I just haven’t quite put my finger on what that looks like. So this time will let me get clarity, save more money then ever before, and find my new “home” – whatever that may look like.
Just an FYI, hearing impaired individuals are allowed to drive in all 50 states. I grew up near my state’s deaf school, and we would interact as part of school sports or clubs. Some kids are totally deaf, others have some degree of hearing. The teenagers in the high school all had the ability to take drivers ed and get their licenses at 16. Some kids lived in the town where the school is located, and drove to school.
Freedom is having enough capital and guaranteed income that you never need to worry about feeding yourself, or having enough money to help your kids.
Freedom is not being 50 years old with no assets, a chronic disease, and living in your car.
There are no shortcuts to financial freedom, and getting “debt free” by making yourself homeless and dependent on your aging parents isn’t what anyone wants for you. I doubt you will listen when the BAD community tells you that, anymore than you listened to any of the community advice over the last decade. Its sad to me to think of what a peaceful and rewarding life you could have been living if it weren’t for your, “I know this isn’t the best financial decision but its what is right for me” approach to life. But, your life is your choice, and the consequences are yours to live with.
Wishing you the best..
I will not be and am not dependent on my aging parents. My regular and extended visits there are solely to help with my mom’s care. I have absolutely 0 desire to live in Texas again. But her care needs are more and more, and frankly hospice is unreliable for much of anything these days. I want to do what I can while I can, and right now I’m in the perfect position to be able to help.
Not having any financial responsibilities here in Georgia and not having any children or others I must care for will make this viable for as long as she may live.
I’m not selling my house to live with my parents. I’m selling my house to chase an adventure I’ve always wanted. I’ve been given an opportunity that I’ve never had before. And there is no reason not to take it. Again, it’s not for everyone.
Hope,
You are now saying you have zero desire to live in texas. You can’t expect positive feedback when you contradict your own statements constantly and we don’t know if you are not being honest with yourself or just us.
You originally were going to look for work around Austin. You said you’d stay wit h your dad, and then a sibling with a room and a possible airbnb.
Reading between the lines it sounds like that IS what you were planning to do and your family simply said no.
As for all the research you’ve done- that plan should be clearly outlined before you even THINK of doing this move. You have shown zero ability to be honest with yourself or lay out a plan and stick to it and it sounds like maybe your family called you out on it?
I am looking for work in Austin. It is where I will be for the foreseeable future to help with my mom.
My family wants me there. They would love for me to settle there.
But I have no desire to settle there. Never have. Too hot. Too much traffic.
This is a temporary move…and I use this time to explore, travel (car camping) and figure out where I want to be.
You are very focused on the aspect of being dependent. You are going to be living with your dad, and not paying bills. Or you are car camping. Whether or not you consider that meets your definition of dependent, being 50 with no assets, no regular health care, living in your car/dad’s house is not a good situation. And if its not a good situation, its not a good plan. Or maybe it’s inaccurate to call it a “ plan”, because you just keep saying this is “for now”. When you don’t have the foggiest idea what comes next, its a big big hint that your plan is inadequate.
“Help dad for one year, save 60k for retirement” is really different than, “ do this for now, see what happens”, surely you can see that.
You are absolutely right. I’ve been struggling with what’s next for years now.
And so this is my step to see where I go.
If you want a statement such as your example (and it is apt to change), this is what I would say:
“Be available to help with my mom as long as she needs it while saving money to buy some land to put a tiny house on.” How’s that?
Or “Spend 1/2 of every quarter for the foreseeable future helping with my mom, then travel the country via car camping to figure out what is next for me.”
The first statement is great. Thats the glimmering of a plan. Now you have to flesh it out. How much does a tiny house cost? How about land in an area you would conceivably want to live? What are the zoning restrictions on tiny houses in that area? Are you committed to living in a tiny house (which usually has a lofted bedroom) given your attitude towards stairs? Is that practical long term as you get more elderly? What are monthly property taxes? Running costs of a tiny house?
Then, when you have that fleshed out, you determine how much you need to save per month to make the tiny house thing happen. 6 months? A year? Then you get a commitment from your father that you can stay for a **minimum** of that amount of time (with or without camping breaks) or you don’t go. Thats what a plan looks like.
“Travel the country car camping till I figure it out” is not a plan.
I actually have all of that except for the WHERE. That is the crux. I have no idea where I want to be. The goal of the travelling is to give me time to decide and process the pros and cons of different areas.
Land cost will vary greatly on where I decided to settle.
And no “lofted” bedroom or stairs. I have designed the entirety of the future house in a phased implementation so that I can cash flow it.
This move is not a whim. This chance to travel is not me becoming homeless or depending on my children or parents. This is wholly a plan that I am so excited about. I realize it’s not the norm. But I have spent hours upon hours reviewing, thinking through, and planning for just this type of opportunity. And finally decided to seize it!
But this is what we mean by a solid plan.
How can you “cash flow” a tiny house when… you have no cash flow?
You do realize that there has not been a single week in my now 18 years in business where I didn’t earn something. Not a single one.
Have there been lean weeks/months, yes. More than I would like.
But I have ALWAYS had some sort of money coming in.
I have just leaned toward stupid with finances, in general. Leading with my heart instead of my mind.
But now my heart (kids) are all happily independent. And I am much more disciplined.
And selling the house will give me a nice profit, even after I pay off ALL my consumer debt and cover a few other bills.
Depending on where I decided to settle and how long that takes, I am really going to work hard to be able to cash flow my land and tiny home build.
You are leading with your “heart” once again. Kind of sad you can’t see that, once again. You’re going to spend the rest of your life in this foolish chaos. Also, what about student loans? Ignoring them again?
Interesting. But no, not ignoring anything.
Hope,
This is a gentle suggestion. You have had several high paying jobs, yet could not discipline yourself to stay out of debt. You now look at selling your only asset and homelessness as the solution to this.
You need to get to the root of this behavior, as how will being homeless improve your ability to avoid impulsive, immature decisions? Are you assuming that being homeless will keep you from spending? Are you assuming having zero debt will magically erase your tendency for impulsive behavior that leads to debt?
Are you aware that your Georgia health insurance might not work anywhere else? It seems your Dad is saying you can’t just live there permanently. Doesn’t that cause some doubt? Are you aware of places where sleeping in your car is illegal? If the car needs even a minor repair that takes an overnight visit in some place you don’t have friends or family, one night in a hotel could wipe out what you have. You can’t sleep in your car at the mechanic’s repair shop.
You are absolutely right.
But no, this is not a forever plan. This is a for now plan. One that I have longed for and wanted for over a decade. This is not a rushed or rash decision.
And it’s not a magic pill. But it will get me out of a place that no longer serves me (or the kids), provide some financial relief, and gets me started on the path to determining what is next. And I have no clue what that will be…
I don’t want the responsibility of this large of a home again (and it’s not large but it overwhelms me daily with the requirements.)
I don’t want to worry about the ever growing “sinkhole” in the yard every time it floods.
I don’t want a $100K debt over my head.
And I don’t want to be in a place where there are no jobs in my field.
And that’s just the small list.
I have researched and planned for this type of adventure for years and years. I am aware and prepared for all the legalities and what ifs you mentioned. I’ll share more as it gets closer to that time.
One other note…the Georgia insurance will cover urgent care visits out of state which is probably the only time I will use it. And when I do get another address, I will consider how to change the insurance. Princess will have her own coverage this summer. And Gymnast and I have begun talking about what his plan is. He is only 19 so he can stay on my coverage for several more years if he needs too.
While I am travelling for the next 10ish months or so at least, my mailing address and such will remain in Georgia. I can always use Princess address, I am on the lease legally as the primary resident. (And she wouldn’t mind.)
I am planning to get a dental visit in and maybe a annual physical prior to the house selling. Then it would just be urgent care visits and even then, I’ve been to the doctor (outside of my female annual visit this past fall) probably 2 times in the last 4 years. I don’t anticipate that will change.
Hope no one buys health insurance because they just expect to need it. I was 48 years old with no family history or symptoms of breast cancer but I went in for my yearly mammogram and they found something. I needed chemo for one year every 3 weeks that cost $14,000 each time. It came back Hope with me needing a double mastectomy, and another round of chemo. No one thinks they will need insurance till they do. Your hearing is crap according to you and you are a diabetic who doesn’t see a doctor. You are playing with fire.
My diabetes is under control with diet and exercise and has been for years.
I go to the doctor quite often for my ears, thus the bad news I received this summer. That was from a doctor after a set of tests.
I am sorry about your cancer diagnosis and treatments. I have seen so much of that in my friends and extended family. My perspective is just different.
If you don’t see a doctor, how do you know your diabetes is under control? Have you had A1C tests regularly?
Test strips. Having been a diabetic for years before I got it under control, I am very much in tune with my body.
And my diet is very protein heavy vs carbs.
Hi Hope,
First of all I think you’re doing the right thing as long as you do take the sales money from the house to actually become debt free. Could you not get the storage unit and store your items at your parents, since that will be the home base whether you are there or traveling, it will still be there. Take a small pull U-Haul on your travel trip down to store items there. I do think over time your two youngest will be settling down by your parents or at least gymnast so you will have a home base. Best of luck selling the house and getting the most you can.
Tebble
A similar size, climate controlled storage in the Austin area is $300 plus per month. My brothers have multiple units so it was easy to do the research on that.
Princess and Beauty are both remaining in Georgia for…the foreseeable future. They both have keys to the unit. It doesn’t make sense to me to take everything to Texas when I don’t believe that I will settle there. And I know I will be back and forth at least 3 more times before next winter, possible more. It won’t be hard to get things should I need them. And the bulk of it, won’t be moved until I figure out where I want to be. And that is completely up in the air.
And my car wouldn’t tow something big enough to take everything. The storage until is 10’x10’x10′ and it is completely full. So that would require an extra driver or me renting a big truck and towing my car…that is not a good idea. I know my limits.
I am glad to hear you say that you have researched and planned for this type of adventure for years. To that end, can you share with us the plan should you be involved in an accident that totals your car, losing both your transportation and your housing simultaneously? I am in transportation and deal daily with accidents that in the past would not deem a car a total loss that today is a total loss due to the increased cost on both parts and labor. In my experience very few are prepared for that to happen to them and as such do not plan for that.
In addition to continuing to carry full coverage on my car plus the 20% more (I’m not sure what it’s call, but they pay you 20% more than what your car is worth if it gets totalled,) I have roadside assistance ($5 per month.) Being that my car is a 2018 Honda, I feel confident that should it get totalled, I would receive enough to buy a cash car pretty quickly.
As far as it being my housing. I have lots of places I could temporarily crash for a week or two to get back up and running (see above.) And I will have a significant nest egg from the sale of the house if I needed to put some money into the car.
And finally, seeing as I can work from anywhere, if the car was incapacitated for an extended time, I could easily rent a long term AirBNB in a location where I wouldn’t need a car – a small town or downtown area that were walkable.
I’ve always said that if I settled in a big city again, I would get rid of my car altogether and use publication transportation. I lived in Chicago for two years after I completed my Bachelors degree and didn’t have a car then. I love riding trains and buses and walking places. A big city is not my desired forever place. But for a year or two, I might consider it if the circumstances are right. I’ve dreamt of living in Chicago again. Temporarily.
You keep saying you can work from anywhere but that’s only currently. Even if companies allow remote work, most don’t allow work from anywhere – especially from a car. You need to be thinking more about future goals and expectations and not what might work for you temporarily because you’re picking up contracts.
I have worked from anywhere for over 20 years. Believe me a car is one of the easiest places for me to work. Have done it for years when travelling. With the exception of a corporate job 8 years ago, I have literally worked from all sorts of places. Volleyball gyms, gymnastics meets, coffee shops, co-working spots, my car, parks…it very feasible. And there are alot more doing it now from when I started 20 years ago.
And all this assumes she is not hurt in a car accident and actually has working health insurance and it isn’t discovered she doesn’t really live in Georgia.
But I do live in Georgia.
And my health insurance does work.
And until my house sells, and even afterwards, I will maintain a mailing address and legal residence here in Georgia. (I am the primary resident on Princess apartment.) My LLC is here.
It will remain my state of residence until I decide where I will settle next. Visits to my parents will be longer stays, think weeks, not months. I will be back in Georgia for weeks in May, months July/August, and then back in October for Beauty’s wedding.
Either I am not a good communicator or the BAD community just does support this. Either way it’s okay. But legally and medically I am covered.
Should I have a wreck. And am not near someone, I can rent an AirBnb for a longer term stay while my car is fixed.
“Either I am not a good communicator or the BAD community just does support this.”
How about both? Literally i do not understand why when a chorus of financial savvy people tell you your latest flight of fancy is a mistake, you don’t listen. You yes but and equivocate and you know better than everyone else. Over and over you’ve had good advice but you never listen and then you wonder why you’re 50, with basically no career, no savings, and soon, no home.
You’re the living embodiment of “you can’t stop stupid.”
You are certainly entitled to your opinion. But I for one am so, so excited about this opportunity to travel anywhere and everywhere, to be “free” in a way I haven’t been for decades now. It’s not for everyone. But it is for me.
To clarify,
Your elderly dog is going into boarding while you do this? I could never leave a pet at the end of its life to die anywhere else than with me.
She is not dying. She is old.
And the stress of multiple LONG road trips in a few short weeks does not make sense for her.
She loves where we board and they love her. She will get to lay in the sun, eat all the treats, and not be stressed out by the long trips with two other dogs. (I have to transport Jake to Texas to leave him with Gymnast.)
When the house sells, she will go. But no reason to expose her to that stress for a quick turn trip.
But Hope, that’s the point.
You decided on this “adventure” knowing this dog would not be able to enjoy this and would need to be boarded. That’s just not what responsible pet owners do
The adventure does not begin until I sell this house.
This quick trip to Texas with an extra and extra large dog (Jake is 80lbs and does not do well in the car) would just be unnecessary stress for my old girl.
I will come back in a couple of weeks, hopefully to close on the house. And she will go with.
But there is no reason to throw in a quick trip with extra stress for her. I am 100% thinking of her.
If this barter had not come up, she was going to stay with Princess while I took Jake to Texas.
Could you explain to us how you plan to have a high paying job while “car camping” with two dogs? This is an unbelievably bad plan on SO many different levels. You are broke—now is the time to focus on work, not “adventure.” You can have an adventure when you can afford an adventure.
Cool. So it sounds like you are going to basically live with your parents? I mean, its not really feasible to have a corporate job and live in your car(shower, dress, keep clothing and belongings etc). Living with an elderly parent that needs your help is not such a bad idea. Good luck.