by Hope
This weekend the “Bride Tribe” will gather to shop for wedding dresses and bridesmaid dresses. So exciting! This is my first time ever participating in any of these type of activities. Beauty has also given me direction on what I will need to wear to her wedding. But I have time to sort that out.
At the same time, I am working through ideas for a family week/graduation celebration just over a month from now. It’s a busy season.
Wedding
Beauty and her fiancé are covering the costs of their wedding and have not asked for anything from me. But I do want to contribute in some form or fashion. Not sure what that will look like. They are getting married in October.
They’ve chosen the date, venue (my grandmother’s home), she handmade her invitations and sent them out, and she will wear my mom’s wedding veil. At least that is the plan now. I think I will gift her a pearl jewelry set that is mine for her to wear and then for her to keep.
I would love any ideas of sentimental ways I could contribute to her special day? My hope is to have some money to help. But thinking several hundred dollars.
Any ideas for me?
Graduation
In just over a month, all the kids will arrive in Georgia for a family week and graduation celebration for Princess. Extended family from Texas will also be flying in for a few days.
We’ve booked two hotel suites that will sleep 12 total at $114 per night per room. That cost will be split between us so it’s pretty affordable. (My brother’s girlfriend works for this particular hotel chain so we are getting the friends and family discount.)
I’m trying to figure out where/how to celebrate Princess’ accomplishment. My first thought was the hotel, get a meeting room and decorate. But it’s turned out to be cost prohibitive. So now, I’m looking at restaurants with private rooms where we could gather and eat after her graduation ceremony.
She only gets 4 tickets to the actual ceremony. But the celebration will include other family and local friends.
How have you celebrated your kids graduation? Any specific gift ideas?
After the Texas family leaves, the kids and I will all be crashing at Princess’ apartment to save money. Between her bed, her couch and my car camping mattresses, everyone should have somewhere reasonably comfortable to sleep. Lots of togetherness. I’m really looking forward to us all being together for a few days.
Sidenote: Before you ask, we anticipate the house will be sold by this date. But even if it isn’t, it is too far from her school to make it worth using it for the celebration. It will also have no furniture as I am moving completely out by the end of April in preparation for leaving for Texas after Princess graduates.
Hope is a resourceful and solutions-driven business manager who has spent nearly two decades helping clients streamline their operations and grow their businesses through project management, digital marketing, and tech expertise. Recently transitioning from her role as a single mom of five foster/adoptive children to an empty nester, Hope is navigating the emotional and practical challenges of redefining her life while maintaining her determination to regain financial control and eliminate debt.
Living in a cozy small town in northeast Georgia with her three dogs, Hope cherishes the serenity of the mountains over the bustle of the beach. Though her kids are now finding their footing in the world—pursuing education, careers, and independence—she remains deeply committed to supporting them in this next chapter, even as she faces the bittersweet tug of letting go.
Since joining the Blogging Away Debt community in 2015, Hope has candidly shared her journey of financial ups and downs. Now, with a renewed focus and a clear path ahead, she’s ready to tackle her finances with the same passion and perseverance that she’s brought to her life and career. Through her writing, she continues to inspire others to confront their own financial challenges and strive for a brighter future.
Don’t. Just… don’t.
Hope, I am trying to not be hateful here but you are not using good sense and anticipating again. It backfired on you with the website, and this will be even worse.
The pearl jewelry set is a lovely idea and conveys your sentiments wonderfully. You don’t need to do anything else – especially anything expensive. You are broke. You have no money to spare. And for sure you have no guarantees that you will EVER have hundreds of dollars to spend on something that will likely be forgotten in a short period of time. I speak from experience here.
Give her the jewelry set, tell her how much you love her and hope for a wonderful life for her. She will remember that forever.
As for Princess, have you asked her what she wants? I suspect you will find that her ideas for a celebration are much different than yours – and probably much less costly.
You seem to be stuck in a pattern of thinking that “expensive” equals “love”. It doesn’t.
I agree with you! This just is not the time to contribute hundreds to either of the girls. Maybe help with decoration/ tasks that require time vs money, you know?
Hope – you don’t NEED to give money to Beauty for her wedding. Give her your time- that’s IT. You don’t have money to give her, full stop. As for Princess – maybe just a nice sit down dinner somewhere that is affordable. Or you could decorate the apartment for her with balloons etc but really, you don’t have money to do this. I am sorry, but you really need to understand you cannot continue to financially give to your kids right now.
Not sure what type of apartment Princess is in but if it is any recent “luxury” building there is usually a clubhouse type common area in the lobby. If that is an option I would host a dinner or snacks there.
I actually hadn’t thought of that. But she does not live in a “luxury” or high rise building where those types of rooms are common.
But her complex does have great outdoor spaces. Maybe? Will have to consider.
Graduation gift idea:
-Her aging mother having stable housing (not a car), so she doesn’t have to worry about telling her mom “no, you can’t stay on my couch”.
Funny, she’s always begging me to come stay a while.
But I agree, I do not want to or intend to live with any of my children in their homes. Visits, most definitely!
Hope, intentions are only worth the actions behind them.
You don’t intend to live with your kids, yet you do nothing to assure your future. You are 50 with no retirement savings and constant emergencies to even pay current bills much less retirement.
You can say what you want, but they are going to be forced to help you if you don’t get your act together financially and stop making financial decisions that would be bad at age 30 and are just monumentally irresponsible at 50.
I’m confused as to your grandmother’s house. Didn’t your grandmother pass away? Who owns this house? Who lives in it?
She did, but the house is still in the family, available for use. No one lives there.
Hope,
I know you get a lot of pushback but I think you are right on the money here. Give her the sentimental gift as long as you are fine with parting with it! Then, find an inexpensive way to get together with every one. I suggest looking at parks in the area and renting a pavilion. You can do a sandwich plater or crackers, cheese pepperoni type meal fairly cheap especially if you go in with a few people on it. This assumes the weather is good enough where you are but I’m further north and we could dress for an outdoor event even now let alone a few weeks from now. Many pavilion rentals are less than $100 bucks (or you can just go the picnic route but having the tables and chairs is nice.