by Hope
—written from the eye of the storm, not the finish line
I’ve shared a lot of my journey on here Blogging Away Debt—the plans, the pivots, the big decisions. But right now? I’m not in one of those big, dramatic, payoff-celebration moments. I’m in the slump and have been for months.
You know the one. The part where the debt numbers aren’t really moving, the progress is invisible, and everything is riding on one giant domino falling: selling the house.
Right now, every bit of energy, time, and money is going toward getting the house sold. Every bit of extra and even some not extra has gone to electricians, painting, cleaning supplies, new light switch covers, new outlet covers, maintaining the yard, and so much more. The list just goes on and on. My bank account is definitely not celebrating. My debt tracker hasn’t budged. I’m working constantly, but financially, I’m just standing still.
That stillness is deafening. It’s filled with anxiety, doubt, and this exhausting pressure to keep believing that something better is coming—even though I can’t see it yet.
Financial Relief
But here’s what keeps me moving: I know what selling the house will do for me.
Once it’s sold, the pressure comes off—financially and emotionally. That single transaction will be the reset button I desperately need. It’s not just a house. It’s equity. It’s opportunity. It’s the start of a clean slate that doesn’t smell like contractor dust and mental fatigue.
It will give me the resources to finally knock out a massive chunk off my debt. It will give me room to breathe. Room to dream, even. I’ll have the space to actually chase work opportunities, not just cling to whatever gig will pay the fastest. I’ll be able to choose what’s next—not just what’s least expensive.
The Next Chapter
It’s also the first page of a new chapter-one where I’m not dragging behind the weight of a house that doesn’t serve me anymore. It’s freedom in a really tangible, grown-up way. Not the glossy “quit your job and travel” freedom. But the real kind: stability, mobility, and a shot at becoming someone new.
But for now? I’m still in it. Still hustling. Still waiting. And trying to remind myself—this slump doesn’t mean failure. It’s just the middle part. The hard part. The part no one glamorizes because it’s not cute. But it matters.
So if you’re in the slump too, I see you. And I promise: stillness doesn’t mean nothing’s happening. Sometimes it’s just the pressure building before the breakthrough.
Don’t let the silence convince you the story’s over.
Hope is a resourceful and solutions-driven business manager who has spent nearly two decades helping clients streamline their operations and grow their businesses through project management, digital marketing, and tech expertise. Recently transitioning from her role as a single mom of five foster/adoptive children to an empty nester, Hope is navigating the emotional and practical challenges of redefining her life while maintaining her determination to regain financial control and eliminate debt.
Living in a cozy small town in northeast Georgia with her three dogs, Hope cherishes the serenity of the mountains over the bustle of the beach. Though her kids are now finding their footing in the world—pursuing education, careers, and independence—she remains deeply committed to supporting them in this next chapter, even as she faces the bittersweet tug of letting go.
Since joining the Blogging Away Debt community in 2015, Hope has candidly shared her journey of financial ups and downs. Now, with a renewed focus and a clear path ahead, she’s ready to tackle her finances with the same passion and perseverance that she’s brought to her life and career. Through her writing, she continues to inspire others to confront their own financial challenges and strive for a brighter future.
The wait and see period of selling a home can be draining, I’ve been through it. However, you can absolutely work on a plan for once it is sold. What exactly are your current debts? ALL of them? We don’t need the reasons behind them, just the cold hard numbers. How much equity will you walk away with from the house sale and how much of the debt will that knock out? Lay it out Hope. That’s how you budget and move forward towards financial freedom…and reduced stress.
oh gosh, Hope this whole thing is so sad to me. Because, due to your 10 year history on this blog, this wont be a reset. Especially since you are not able to pay off all your debt, at least I am inferring that from your choice of words in your post. You have shown that you will always have a reason to need something, always have a reason to spend more, always pay something for a child that they can/should cover themselves. I really had hope for you at the beginning, and even more recently. But you have made it clear you have zero interested in being debt free if it requires choices you don’t want to make or you think are boring. You have received years of extremely solid advice, and ignore it almost every time and dig a much bigger hole. You are not honest with the blog as to the actual metrics around your debt and income. Clearly it is not other peoples business BUT you chose to be part of a debt blog and ask for input. No one can give you realistic input without real data. You clearly did not come to the blog regarding whatever happened with your mortgage because you knew whatever you did was a huge red flag mistake. I have a close relative who is very similar to you and the mental and emotional exhaustion it causes everyone around them is gutting. I wish you well, I hope Im wrong. But I beg you, please consider your children’s future. You will be an enormous burden on them if you continue down this path. Use the time at your parents house to save every penny, pay off and DONT use credit cards EVER, sit down with your parents and siblings and get an accurate and truthful assessment of your parents estate plan if they will share that info. I have the feeling you are expecting a pay out at some point and from experience I can tell you that people write past debt into their estate planning and you may not get what you assume is coming if you have been at the receiving end of a lot of money all along. Be realistic as to what your long term life plan is. Who will care for you if you become incapacitated, who will pay those expenses? Are they aware that is your plan? Have you ever been to a Medicaid funded nursing home? They can be very grim places. Please use this forced home sale and homelessness as a true wake up call. Please have your therapist read your blog and see the patterns. Wishing you a better future, you have to tell yourself you and your family deserve for you to have one!
I hope you have a companion post in the pipeline that acknowledges the repeated accumulation of significant consumer debt, because without that this post begs, or rather screams, the question. It appears that you ran up thousands on credit cards in the last six months, and I recall when you were previously out of work and MIA, you returned with new debt in an amount that seemed outside the realm of floating necessities (I think 10k or more?).
Hope, you don’t have to share everything, or anything, here. But the numbers we get, what we see, and the insights you share, show there is an issue with accountability in your financial life. This is why you cling to forecasting rather than budgeting, because budgets enforce personal accountability while forecasts get to fall away as events come to occur.
If you want to break your financial cycle you need to take this journey of embracing accountability. It is ok if this place does not work for you as an accountability partner, but you probably need to find someone with whom you are willing to share full transparency (numbers, not the explanations).
Hope, I’ve been reading here for years and I’ve never commented. I want this to come across as kind and supportive. I have a feeling that you’re not going to hear me though. I get that paying off debt is exhausting. I get that preparing a house to sell is hard. I really do, but from personal experience I don’t think your end result is going to be what you’re wanting. It’s not impossible to start over at 50, but it’s really hard. Time is not on your side financially. Even if you pay off most of your debt it doesn’t sound like it will be wiped out. You won’t have any retirement savings. You won’t have a home. That really doesn’t sound like freedom to me. Thinking that this house sale will solve your problems and be a reset button doesn’t ring true to me. You still will bring yourself anywhere you go. You haven’t addressed and changed the things that made you get into debt in the first place. I know from first hand experience what that’s like. I would take out home equity loans or use work bonuses to pay debt down as a reset or a way to start fresh. I’d then promptly rack up a bunch more debt. I’d tell myself that it was “good” debt because I was improving my home or travelling instead of buying a bunch of material things that I didn’t need. It wasn’t until I sacrificed and went through the grind of paying it all off week after week, month after month that it really clicked. Debt is debt and if you can’t pay for it, it’s not good. Then I saved. I was able to put on a new roof without any credit. I am able to go on vacation without credit. I haven’t been in any debt for years because I learned my lesson and I changed my habits. I really felt that sacrifice and seeing it through to the end changed me and made me never want to go back. I truly hope I’m wrong, but I don’t think that selling your home is going to give you the wisdom you need to make different choices moving forward.
Hope,
I challenge you to really taking advantage of this decision. You have older parents who need help and it’s admirable that you are ready to step up and provide that help. I don’t disagree with your decision to sell the house in fact I actually think it will be a very good thing for you. However, it will be very easy to want to spend some of that money on other things. DO NOT DO SO. Take every penny and put it into getting yourself out of debt. Then comes the hard part and that is not getting back in the same situation. Contrary to what other people will say, my advice to you is to take a 2 year time period where you lock your credit. Cut up your credit cards (do not cancel them just cut them up or freeze them). Then, set a FIRM budget for what you are allowed to spend and anything that is not truly life threatening emergency does not break the budget. This is what it takes to truly break bad spending habits and build budgeting habits. Warn your family ahead of time and then set it up so you do not have easy access to any extra money you earn above the budget. It goes straight into savings and you don’t have a debit card for that account. You can also call the bank and tell them you want extra security where you have to come into the branch to withdraw any funds. I have done a similar thing 3 times in my life (bad decisions, then a bad ex, then covid world crash and burn for my family). It’s both really easy and super hard at the same time. So, if you want advice offline feel free to reach out to me.
Hope, those who have commented already have spoken truth. I feel like this place / situation you are in right now is a precipice. Things could either go really well for you, or really not well. This is the proverbial ‘all the eggs in one basket’ type situation. I feel so sorry for you. I do hope things turn out for the good. But I can’t see that happening when you haven’t addressed the reasons you make the choices you make. I’m so glad that you are in therapy. But here’s the rub, you are going to have to listen to the therapist. So many people here have been giving you good, solid advice for a decade now. And from the outside looking in, you’re not in any better situation than you were when you started here. No one is trying to be mean with they say here. But you have never listened to the things people try to tell you.
I remember being in a situation in 2008 where we were trying to sell our house. It was to bypass a foreclosure process. The hope and excitement and anxiety all rolled into every day was exhausting. The house payment wasn’t even that much money, but just the thought of not having to deal with that any longer kept us going. We lost that fight. We couldn’t pull things together in time. The house was foreclosed on. There was a divorce. Splitting of debts that I ended up paying most of because he continued to spend too much money. As a single mom of two teenagers, my paycheck was garnished because of a debt he was supposed to pay. I got a second job to buy groceries. I struggled. Any advice I write to you comes from a place of, “I’ve been there and done that, and I hope you don’t have to struggle like I did.”
All that to say this – the people here who are trying to help you are trying to HELP YOU. You’ve been less than honest with us and yourself about your spending habits. And I don’t care so much that you’ve been less than truthful with us, but it’s the lying to yourself that this one next thing will make everything better. There is no one thing that will fix it. There’s a lot of work involved, and that work includes being honest with yourself.
Wow, I’m sorry you went through all that.
I was thinking the other day that since my husband and I split almost 18 years ago, this is the first move that is actually my choice.
And like you, I’m excited to be out from under it, the responsibility and the maintenance.
But for the first time in a very long time, this is 100% my choice.