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by Hope

Never thought I would use those two words in the same sentence: filing taxes and scrapbooking. While we were in a waiting game for my brother’s autopsy to be complete, his body to be released, and the service to be planned, I needed something to occupy my time. Sitting in a hotel room. Couldn’t concentrate on too much those first few days.

Too many questions. Too many tears.

Thankfully, I had planned for lots of downtime on this trip. Dad was to be visiting friends and family. And I’d be waiting. So I brought two things along to occupy my time outside of work hours and dog walks. I brought all the tax docs to complete filing his back taxes.

And I brought a bag full of scrapbooking supplies to document my trip to Branson, Vegas, California, and back to Texas this past April and May. What you see pictured is what I had with me. A few pens, some washi tape, and so paper glue, along with some sticker sets (in the pink plastic thing under the light).

I’ve begun junk journaling this year. Essentially keeping scraps of wherever I go – ticket stubs, paper bags with logos on it, pamphlets you pick up for free. And, of course, I always take pics with my phone. Walmart+ gets me 20 free prints a month, so I print the pics in batches. FREE.

Eating peanut butter sandwiches, string cheese, snacks that I packed. A few meals with old friends. Several dog walks a day around the hotel. I’ve not left my hotel room unless required.

I couldn’t focus on the taxes, so I’ve just filled out the form basics. When my eyes stay dry a little bit longer. And I get a bit more distance from this. I’ll go back to those.

Now more than ever…I am grateful for my scrapbooks and all my pics.

by Hope

I’ve now been on the road for two weeks. And nothing has gone according to plan. From Day 1.

If you follow me on social media, you know that tragedy struck my family hard two weeks ago. Unexpectedly, devastatingly hard. The whole planned trip got cancelled or rather rerouted, repurposed, and rearranged 4 hours into our drive away from home. And my whole family is still reeling. The loss is so hard.

My brother died. The eldest of my three brothers is gone. Forever.

Instead of a “getting dad back into the world” road trip. It became a find out what happened, plan a service, say good bye to someone who is gone far too early trip. And then clean up.

It’s one thing to say good bye to someone whose time it is, who is sick, who is ready. It’s another to be shocked at a death with absolutely so forewarning and so many questions. Questions, we may never have answers too.

And even I, who can always find a silver lining, find some hope, see an adventure in a hardship…I can’t, in this.

And if dealing with the loss of my mom and the “estate” type stuff the last 4 months wasn’t enough, now wading into that with my brother to help my dad. It’s a whole different story. Lots of other players, decision makers, influencers. It’s hard, so hard. Especially when what we really want is answers to so many unanswered questions.

Death is expensive. Mind blowingly expensive. How in the world do people afford these services?

Please plan for it. Even if it’s not expected. Maybe especially if it’s not expected. Tell your loved ones your desires for your body, your service, your stuff. Your memory. Don’t leave things unsaid. Forgive.

While my day to day life may not be changing. My heart and mind are changed forever.

My brother’s obituary: https://www.dignitymemorial.com/obituaries/katy-tx/micah-huckaby-13076404

The “trip” will end a week earlier than planned. Dad did make it to his high school reunion. In fact, he’s there as I’m writing this. We all encouraged him to attend seeing it’s probably the last time he will see many of these people and he’s so been looking forward to it. I am getting to check on my storage unit for the first time in over a year. And see my daughters for a couple of days.

But the work has just begun. Lots of “stuff” to sort. And lot’s of grief…so much grief.

And we await the autopsy report. With hope and dread. This isn’t supposed to happen…to anyone.