Blogging Away Debt Our Journeys to a Debt-Free Life

by Tricia

I’ve never been one to be able to write very well about my feelings, especially when I’m a little depressed. Instead, I keep to myself and hold everything in. That’s not good to do, so I forced myself to write what I did the other day. I need to get it out, for it’s not good to keep things bottled in.

There have been a few times where there was a shadow of doubt looming above my head. The last few days, the shadow has been, well, huge. I think it was a lot of things coming at me at once and I just cracked. You obviously can’t see my face, but imagine someone with a very big smile upside down. Someone looking at the floor while walking, someone just energenic enough just to say hi and crack a little smile. That would have been me if you saw me on the street on Tuesday.

I’m sure anyone in debt can relate to that. Debt seems to be that hand on your shoulder pushing you down so you can’t stand up straight. It’s that weight that is keeping you from realizing your full potential. There’s tons of ways to describe it, I guess, but if you’ve been there I’m sure you understand the feeling.

Thank you to everyone that left a comment on yesterday’s post. They helped to make me feel better. That was one of my low points the other day, and I am sure there will be more. It’s only normal. I kept telling myself that the other day, and kept telling myself that I will feel better soon. I do feel better, and I’m sure the quickness of my recovery has to do with all of you.

That brings up a point about debt. Having financial troubles and being in debt can be so shameful, but tell someone about it. Have someone you can share with and don’t keep it all bottled in. Everyone needs someone to be there when you are down and out. It could be a friend, a spouse, message board buddies, or a support group. Just reach out and talk to someone, even if it is anonymous. Instead of having that hand on your shoulder pushing you down…you can have someone holding your arm and helping to hold you up.

Thank you to everyone for holding my arm and helping me back up 🙂

by Tricia

I haven’t had much to say the last few days, and that’s partly because I’ve been pretty tired and pretty stressed. Sometimes when that happens, it’s hard for me to sit down and write something that makes sense. I look at the computer screen and pretty much stare at it. I’m not sure where to begin.

I went to bed pretty early last night, and I do feel a little better today. What am I stressed about? Here’s a few things.

Every now and then, I start feeling like it is going to take forever to pay off our debt. May of 2009 (our goal date) seems like it is so far away. Then I look at our balance, and while I’m glad we have gotten as far as we have, there is still a long way to go. I think it’s normal to feel this way, and I just have to get over this hurdle. And no matter what thoughts enter my head about just going on a shopping spree…I have to ignore them. I need to make it through this rough patch and realize that what I am working to accomplish will improve our life so much. (See, I’m giving a pep talk to myself right there LOL)

I also received the yearly application in the mail for my son’s health insurance. This is the first year that we will make too much money and we will no longer qualify for his insurance. I knew that would happen, but when I held that application in my hand it really sunk in that we are going to be completely on our own and not receiving any financial help. This one is actually a mixture of being excited and scared at the same time. It’s weird.

Lastly, I’m just tired. It takes a lot out of me to keep reading and keep learning about things. I read everything I receive now from my credit cards and that takes a bit of time. I’m also in my Quicken file a lot running scenarios (if I pay X amount to the credit cards now, that will leave Y for Christmas gifts…etc.). Not to mention the wear that working over 40 hours a week has done to me. By the time 2:00pm rolls around every day…I’m pooped. I keep saying to myself that it will be only a month and a half longer and then I will just be working 40 hours. That should help a little.

Thinking back, did life seem easier when I wasn’t worried about our debt and making more money? You bet. Did we rack up the debt? You bet. Do I want to go back to where we were? No way.

I like where we are now and the direction we are heading financially…but man, it sure is rough.