budgeting Archives - Page 16 of 23 - Blogging Away Debt Blogging Away Debt

I’m now 99.9% sure that I have updated all my auto-pays both personally and professionally to use either my personal or business debit card or my Apple Cash account (secondary to that is my personal debit.) I’ve worked up a system this past month that feels both manageable and secure to me.

I know someone commented on my post about this process asking why it would take the month to make this transition.

Because of my business, I actually have a pretty large number of auto-pays set up. While I pay most annually to take advantage of discounts, there are still quite a few monthly ones. Sorting those out took some time.

I have 5 monthly auto pay bills set up for my business and about triple that in annual charges. None are not significant individually, but when added up, it could quickly get me in trouble. (The largest one time charge I pay is $394.)

In addition, I have 8 monthly auto pay bills personally. These include things like health insurance premium, auto insurance premium (although I’ve been trying to pay this every 6 months), etc.

It definitely took some time and attention to make sure everything was set up correctly. But I’m pretty confident I’m ready for this clean break! And pretty proud of this step as well.

Sharing the Why

At the same time, I’ve been communicating what I’m doing with the kiddos. Taking the Dave Ramsey class, getting rid of all my credit cards, what I’m learning each week. (Tomorrow’s class is about Investing, I know I’ll learn alot there.)

I’ve had the 3 youngest watch some of the class snippets that I thought were really good. Especially his definition of the credit score or rather debt score.

Life is calm now. For probably the first time in 20 years. Lots of time in my head and to process and think through next steps. And look at my screw ups with some perspective and distance without feeling like I’m drinking out of a firehose.

Hope

Hope is a resourceful, solutions-driven online business manager with over two decades of experience helping clients streamline operations, manage projects, and grow their businesses through digital marketing and technology.

But life has a way of rewriting your plans.

A year ago, Hope made the decision to move in with her aging parents full time – a season she wouldn’t trade, even as it came with its own financial and emotional weight. Earlier this year, she lost her mother, and is now walking the tender, disorienting path of grief while learning what “forward” looks like from here.

Hope came to the Blogging Away Debt community in 2015 as a single mom raising five foster and adoptive children. She’s written through job changes, financial setbacks, and the bittersweet transition to an empty nest. Her kids are finding their footing in the world now – and so is she.

Rooted in faith and fueled by the same perseverance she’s brought to every hard season, Hope is ready to face her finances with fresh eyes and an honest pen. She believes that clarity, courage, and community can change the trajectory of anyone’s story including her own.

She lives in Austin, TX with her dad, loves adventures with her dog Addie, and is figuring out, one step at a time, what this next chapter is meant to be.

Redefining the Parent/Child Relationship

by Hope

The call outs on my post about my kids beginning to migrate were SPOT ON! And as I’ve heard about their plans, I’ve had the same fears. Can I set better boundaries? Be consistent in saying NO or rather, not offering financial help? And essentially reset, the relationship as a parent with now all adult, independent children?

First off, I want to be very clear. The issue is with me. My kids do not ask me for help very often. And when they do, it’s been minimal and typically temporary. They are all doing so well at being independent.

The problem is ME.

And this has always been the case. I finally think I see clearly. Not perfectly for sure, but clearly.

My challenge is how do I reset the expectations with my kids? And I’m just writing out loud here the thoughts going through my head.

How do I invite them to a meal out or to meet up without them expecting me to pay for them? Like what words do you use? How do I set that as the general experience and when I can or want to treat, make that the exception?
How do I stop leading with my heart? Or my “I want to do this” for whomever? Like when they mention something and I want to provide it. This has been a huge one during their childhood. But I’m doing better, much better with the distance.
How do I invite them on a trip or adventure, setting the expectation of them covering their own way? And how do I handle it if one or another can’t do it financially? Cancel the whole thing or just going with those who can?

These are just a few of the thoughts I am having.

And as much as I’m enjoying the Dave Ramsey class, my group has no other later in life people, parents, no other empty nesters in it, so I don’t feel like they are in a place to provide experienced guidance or feedback. Does that make sense?

Small Win – Valentines

I was really proud of myself as Valentines came around. Instead of going overboard shipping boxes of even small things, I bought them each a card and wrote a personal love note. No candy, no stuff, no gift card. Just a heartfelt card. I know that seems stupid or like “duh” to most people here. But, wow, that was a huge thing for me to not do anything else. Next up Easter.