This year, Christmas will be different – in ways I never imagined. Neither the twins or Gymnast will be home. While the girls are both nearby, they have their own homes and won’t likely be staying over. For the first time, the traditions we’ve built around having everyone gathered under one roof feel like they’re unraveling a bit. The crazy of Christmas morning chaos, the shared laughter, and the familiar rhythm of our holiday is shifting, leaving me wondering how to make this season special.
Traditions Must Grow with Us
As I have sat with this the last month or so, I’m reminded that traditions can be beautiful. But they’re also meant to grow with us. Maybe this year will open the door to new ways of celebrating – not as replacements but as additions to our story. Here are a few things I’m considering to bring warmth and meaning into a quieter, different kind of holiday:
Embrace Simplicity and Quiet Moments With fewer people at home, there’s a quiet I’m both dreading and looking forward to. It’s an opportunity to slow down, to soak in the little things, and maybe start a tradition that I hadn’t thought of before. I’m thinking about bringing in moments that celebrate this new chapter. I haven’t been able to identify any that appeal just yet, which is a little frustrating.
Stay Connected in New Ways Just because everyone isn’t here doesn’t mean they aren’t part of our Christmas. I’m planning to find moments to connect with each of the boys over our Thanksgiving together and then from afar. Whether it’s a video call while we open presents or sending each other little photos and memories from the day, staying close in spirit, if not in person, feels like a new tradition worth creating.
Create Traditions for the Ones Who Are Here Now It might not be the boisterous gathering of years past, but it’s still family, and I’m holding onto that with gratitude. With the girls close by, there’s a chance to focus on creating new, more intimate memories together. Maybe this is the year we add something special just for us. Ideas?
New Kind of Christmas
This Christmas will be a different kind of holiday, with a bittersweet edge, yes, but also with room to rediscover what it means to gather, even if it’s in new ways. In a sense, traditions are less about what we do and more about who we do it with. This year, I’ll hold close to the memories of our past while embracing the chance to build something fresh, even if it looks different from the Christmases we’re used to.
And who knows? Maybe in a few years, I’ll look back and realize this new season was a gift all its own. Have you gone through a season of transition as your kids spread their wings and fly? How did you maneuver the change in tradition?
Hope is a creative, solutions-focused business manager helping clients grow their business and work more efficiently by leveraging expertise in project management, digital marketing, & tech solutions. She’s recently become an empty nester as her 5 foster/adoptive kids have spread their wings. She lives with her 3 dogs in a small town in NE Georgia and prefers the mountains to the beaches any day. She struggles with the travel bug and is doing her best to help each of her kids as their finish schooling and become independent (but it’s hard!) She has run her own consulting company for almost twenty years! Hope began sharing her journey with the BAD community in the Spring of 2015 and feels like she has finally in a place to really focus on making wise financial decisions.
Open enrollment season is upon us! As I think about electing benefits for the coming year, it really brings up broader financial goals I have for 2025 and beyond.
2024 Benefits Enrollment
In 2024, I maxed out my Health Savings Account (HSA), and kept a Flexible Spending Account (FSA) specifically for childcare. Because my employer also contributes to my HSA, my commitment out-of-pocket was $6,860 for the year. At this point, I no longer use after-school childcare, but I used my FSA for summer day camps. For summer 2024, I had $1,000 dedicated to my childcare FSA.
2025 Benefits Enrollment
Since the HSA cap has increased, I am planning to increase my contributions. For 2025, I will max out our HSA contributions to the tune of $7,110 for the year (again – my employer contributes, as well, which brings me to the max cap).
FSAs are only able to be used for children age 12 and below. While my kids are 12 right now, they will be turning 13 this summer. Additionally, I don’t have any summer camps picked out and the girls are getting to an age that they would rather just sleep in and be at home versus going to a camp (even though they’ve been lucky to do some really cool camps in the past – everything from drama camp to horse camp to sewing camp, etc.).
Also, with my childcare custody schedule, I only have the girls every-other-week, so I have less need for childcare in the summer. They’re gone half the time already as it is. I’m lucky to work mostly from home. The kids can be home alone if needed. And I want to prioritize spending time together as a family when they are with me. For all these reasons, I’ve decided NOT to enroll in a Flexible Spending Account for 2025.
Other Financial Goals
Thinking about and planning for these benefits makes me think of broader financial goals in general. For example, I don’t want to just have that $1,000 I would have had in an FSA come back to me in my paycheck. I’d rather invest it elsewhere.
And in general, my goal is to continue to increase my rate of savings and investing. My pie-in-the-sky goal is to get to a place where my savings and investments amount to approximately 50% of my paycheck. For that reason, my plan is to increase investments in three additional categories: 529 accounts, an optional 403b, and Fidelity Go account. I won’t be at the 50% threshold, but I want to incrementally work my way toward it.
529 Accounts – Pros and Cons
One of my savings goals is to increase the amount I’m saving for each of my kids for college. Currently, each of my daughters has a 529 college savings account where I make a modest monthly investment ($60/month/child x 2 kids). The PROS of a 529 is that the money grows tax-deferred and, if used on educational expenses, can be withdrawn tax-free.
The main CON is that the money in a 529 will incur penalties if not used for educational expenses. For me, this is something I need to carefully monitor. I work at a university with exceptional benefits. If I’m still working there at the time the girls go to college (which is the plan!), their college will be mostly covered as long as they attend an in-state school. While a 529 can be used for education, broadly defined (including trade schools, housing, food, etc.), I definitely don’t want to “max out” contributions because I would fear we’d get into a situation where the money isn’t able to be used and gets penalized when we withdraw it.
This begs the question – should I increase my contributions to my kids’ existing 529 plans, or might it make more sense to open separate mutual funds in each of their names?
Right now my contributions to the 529’s have been very modest ($60/month/child), but I was thinking of doubling this ($120/month/child). Would folks suggest staying on this route, or moving towards a higher-yield savings account and/or mutual funds for the kids? Remember – they are 12 years old currently.
Another option I’ve mentioned in passing – I’d really like to create an official LLC. I already have some light clerical tasks I could use my kids’ help with and if I can pay them from a business account, I could open up a Roth IRA in their names. I love this idea for them, but it does require a bit of hoop-jumping for me in terms of creating the LLC and then dealing with business taxes. Thoughts on this?
Optional 403b
I have 7% of my income automatically invested into my work retirement account. This is matched dollar-for-dollar for the full 7%, so in essence my retirement account contributions amount to 14% of my salary.
On top of that, I have historically invested in an optional 403b retirement account (this is just like a 401k, but for non-profit organizations like the public university where I work). I invest $215 per paycheck. I want to bring that up to $275/paycheck.
Fidelity Go
Finally, this brings me to my Fidelity Go account. This is my first account that’s just plain mutual funds – not tied to a retirement account, 529 account, HSA/FSA account, etc. I started depositing money into my Fidelity Go throughout this past year intermittently. I do not have an automatic withdrawal set up, and just move money over when my budget has allowed it. I’ve averaged investing about $50-100 per month.
I’d like to try to establish this as a more routine investment. And I want to stretch myself. I’m thinking of having an investment of about $200 per month.
Comparison Over The Years
2023
2024
2025
HSA:
$5500/year
$6860/year
$7110/year
FSA:
$700/year
$1,000/year
$0
403b
$125/check = $3250/year
$215/check = $5590/year
$275/check = $7150/year
529
$50/month/child = $1200/year
$60/month/child = $1440/year
$120/month/child = $2880/year
Fidelity Go
$0
$50/month = $600/year
$200/month = $2400/year
TOTAL
$10,650/year
$15,490/year
$19,540/year
Investment Portfolio
In whole, the investment portfolio I’ve outlined above sets me up for saving/investing approximately $19k of my take-home income (in addition to the 14% in my main retirement account).
This is a bit of a stretch goal, but one I think I can meet. I’d like to get used to living on less, living below our means, and saving for retirement. My husband is set to retire in 7 years. Although he thinks he’ll probably still work a part-time job after retirement as a way to stay busy and fulfilled, I’m really starting to look toward the future. I realize retirement will be here sooner than we know. And although I still plan to work at that time, I’d love to have a hefty safety net built up in case plans change and we decide to move or I want to retire early, etc. I also mentioned before about an inheritance and plans to eventually invest in real estate with it. Right now, it’s conservatively invested while we wait to see what happens with interest rates in 2025.
I’d love to crowdsource ideas from the BAD community about these investment ideas and strategies. In particular, I’d love feedback on whether this seems like a well balanced portfolio. I’d also like feedback on my thoughts with the kids’ investments (i.e., 529 versus mutual funds versus Roth IRA). What am I not thinking about? Let me know!
Hi, I’m Ashley! Arizonan on paper, Texan at heart. Lover of running, blogging, and all things cheeeeese. Freshly 40, married mother of two, working in academia. Trying to finally (finally!) pay off that ridiculous 6-digit student loan debt!
