by Hope
Life as a single mom was no walk in the park. Add a variable income to the mix, and it often felt like I was trying to build a house during an earthquake. Trust me, I’ve been there, way more times that I care to admit. And, unfortunately, most of the insecurity was due to my own ignorance, terrible decisions, and shame.
I’ve stared at bills piling up, wondering how on earth I was going to make it all work. I’ve made bad financial decisions out of desperation, neglected savings because “how could I possibly save when there isn’t enough to go around?”—and learned the hard way that a solid plan, even on a shaky income, is the lifeline we all need.
I don’t have it all figured out, but I’ve learned a few lessons through my own financial failures and wins. If you’re in a place where you feel like it’s impossible to gain control, let me tell you—you can. It starts with understanding where you are and building something, however small, to get to where you want to be.
Step 1: Budgeting for Reality, Not Hope
One of my biggest mistakes was planning as if my best-case-scenario paycheck was a sure thing every month. When you’re juggling a variable income, that’s a recipe for stress and late fees. I’ve learned to base my budget (or in my case, my forecast) on my lowest expected income instead. When things come in better than expected, that’s a bonus—but I don’t rely on it to pay the essentials. During the brief period, I was receiving a semblance of child support, I counted it as a bonus as it was never reliable in either delivery or amount.
Breaking down my expenses into fixed (rent, utilities) and variable (groceries, gas) categories has also been life-changing. It’s humbling to admit how often I’ve overspent on things I didn’t truly need because I felt overwhelmed or wanted to make life feel “normal” for my kids. But sticking to a realistic budget would have been a much better move. I had to learn the hard way, I’m hoping that by documenting my failures, you will do better then me.
Step 2: Saving… Even When It Feels Impossible
Let me level with you—saving money when you’re barely scraping by feels ridiculous. I spent years telling myself, “I’ll start saving when things are better,” only to watch them never get better. What I’ve learned is that even a tiny amount—$5 here, $10 there—starts to add up, and more importantly, it builds a habit.
Creating a emergency fund fund where I keep at least $1,000 in a separate account that I don’t touch unless I absolutely have to has been life altering. There’s just a mental sigh of relief I breathe when that fund is fully stocked. It truly is worth it. Try it.
Hitting that goal was hard at first, but I started small. When I had an unexpectedly good month, I put a little extra in there. Now, I sleep better knowing that if my car breaks down or an unexpected bill comes up, I won’t immediately spiral into panic mode.
Step 3: Make a Plan for the Good Months
Here’s the thing about variable income: the highs can feel like a windfall, but if you’re not careful, they disappear just as quickly. I’ve learned (the hard way) that good months are my chance to play catch-up.
Now, whenever I have a better-than-usual month, I use a simple system:
- Pay off any overdue bills or high-interest debts.
- Add to my emergency fund.
Step 4: Use Tools That Make Life Easier
While I’m naturally organized, using a spreadsheet has been a game-changer for me. Some prefer apps like You Need a Budget (YNAB) but just using Google Sheets helps me track what’s coming in and what’s going out. It’s not about perfection—it’s about staying aware. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve avoided overdrafting simply because I checked my forecast before spending.
Step 5: Give Yourself Grace
Here’s the truth: no plan is perfect. I still have months where I mess up, when an unexpected expense throws everything off, or when I simply feel overwhelmed and make a bad choice. But I don’t let those moments define me anymore.
The biggest lesson I’ve learned is that it’s not about being perfect; it’s about being persistent. Each month is a fresh chance to do a little better than the last. And when I fall short, I try to learn from it, forgive myself, and move forward.
The Bottom Line
Being a single mom on a variable income is tough—there’s no sugarcoating it. But having a plan, even a simple one, can be the difference between barely surviving and starting to thrive. It’s not easy, but it is possible.
If you’re in a place where it feels like the walls are closing in, take a deep breath. Start small. Build that emergency fund, even if it’s just $20 at a time. Budget for the reality of your life, not the life you wish you had.
And most importantly, remember that you’re not alone. We’re all figuring it out one step at a time—and every step forward is worth celebrating.
Hope is a creative, solutions-focused business manager helping clients grow their business and work more efficiently by leveraging expertise in project management, digital marketing, & tech solutions. She’s recently become an empty nester as her 5 foster/adoptive kids have spread their wings. She lives with her 3 dogs in a small town in NE Georgia and prefers the mountains to the beaches any day. She struggles with the travel bug and is doing her best to help each of her kids as their finish schooling and become independent (but it’s hard!) She has run her own consulting company for almost twenty years! Hope began sharing her journey with the BAD community in the Spring of 2015 and feels like she has finally in a place to really focus on making wise financial decisions.
