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Celebrating My Daughter’s Engagement: Navigating Wedding Traditions and Finances with a Heart Full of Gratitude

The joy of watching my eldest daughter get engaged this past week was so excited. She joined our lives as an older teenager, and since then, we’ve built memories together, forming a bond I cherish more than I can express. Now, as we embark on wedding planning, I find myself reflecting on the balance between traditional expectations and the financial realities of planning a modern wedding.

Engaged, No Date Set

While we’ve been anticipating this was going to happen. Neither of us knew it was coming so soon. He asked my permission and I was thrilled to welcome him into the family. And she was shocked when he dropped down to one knee in front of our local waterfall and popped the question.

No date has been set, but right now, we are planning on a long engagement. And she is adamant that she wants a very small, intimate wedding.

Tradition vs Modern Options

Here’s a glimpse into our journey, especially as it relates to navigating wedding traditions through a financial lens:

The Venue: Traditional Halls vs. Budget-Friendly Options In many traditional weddings, the venue is one of the biggest expenses – often a lavish hall or a scenic location. For us, though, the focus is less on grandeur and more on intimacy. We’re exploring local community spaces, parks, or even a family member’s property that would create a cozy, welcoming environment. It’s incredible to see my daughter embrace this approach, valuing meaningful memories over a costly backdrop.
Guest List: Family and Community vs. Close-Knit Affordability Traditionally, weddings can be large gatherings, with guest lists that grow to include extended family and community members. We’re being mindful of the financial aspect, though, and my daughter is prioritizing a smaller, more intentional guest list, focused on those who have played a significant role in her life. It’s a decision that will help keep us within budget while also making the celebration feel deeply personal.
Wedding Dress: Traditional Elegance vs. Financial Practicality Growing up, my daughter did not really dream about a specific wedding dress, and now, she’s thrilled to choose something beautiful and affordable. While traditional wedding dresses can be pricey, she’s exploring options like consignment stores, sample sales, and even rentals. Her willingness to consider alternatives reflects her practicality and independence – qualities I admire so much. (We are going to do a dress shopping day with her best friend and Princess at a bridal shop. This will help to narrow down styles and then figure out how to get what she wants affordably. And we do have my mom’s veil so she plans to wear that.)

Planning has Just Begun

This planning process has just begun. We are wheedling down a list of traditions we honor and the financial mindfulness we’re embracing. Every choice will be rooted in love and practicality, with a sprinkle of joy for the new chapter ahead. I couldn’t be prouder or more grateful to support her in this unique journey.

Hope

Hope is a creative, solutions-focused business manager helping clients grow their business and work more efficiently by leveraging expertise in project management, digital marketing, & tech solutions. She’s recently become an empty nester as her 5 foster/adoptive kids have spread their wings. She lives with her 3 dogs in a small town in NE Georgia and prefers the mountains to the beaches any day. She struggles with the travel bug and is doing her best to help each of her kids as their finish schooling and become independent (but it’s hard!) She has run her own consulting company for almost twenty years! Hope began sharing her journey with the BAD community in the Spring of 2015 and feels like she has finally in a place to really focus on making wise financial decisions.

Good Financial Choices and Frugal, Sentimental Gifts for Adult Kids

by Hope

Every year around this time, I get stressed a bit about balancing good financial choices and my desire to spoil my kiddos for Christmas. Add to that, the cost of shipping gifts across the country doesn’t exactly scream “budget-friendly.” With adult kids scattered around, I’m reminded that every gift also comes with a shipping label and a price tag that just keeps creeping up.

This year, my holiday budget is solely dependent on my $5 savings that I started early this year. I started back in January, putting aside those fives, and it’s added up! But even with my “$5 stash,” I am going to have to get creative about how to give gifts that don’t break the bank and still feel special.

Here are a few frugal, sentimental gift ideas to keep things meaningful without overextending. I hope they help you find a little balance too:

1. Family Recipe Book

My kids might live all over, but one thing that keeps us connected is the food we all grew up with. This is what I did last year and they all love it! I gathered our go-to dishes, from holiday cookies to comfort foods, typed them up, and added little stories or memories tied to each recipe. I even digitized it and shared with them (and my siblings) for them to add their own. This isn’t just a cookbook; it’s like handing over a slice of family history they can pass on someday. Plus, if you format it simply, you can email it and save on shipping!

2. Memory Jar or Journal

I know, this sounds a bit crafty, but hear me out: a memory jar or journal can be one of the most heartfelt gifts. I’ve done this a couple of times, filling a jar with little notes about memories we share, funny stories, pictures, or life lessons I’d like them to remember. When they’re having a tough day, they can pull one out and feel a bit of home no matter where they are. If mailing a jar isn’t practical (or affordable), you can use a small notebook or journal. It’s budget-friendly, and they always seem to love it! (I’m working on an alternative to this one for this year, but it’s still just an idea noodling around in my head.)

3. Plan a “Gift of Time” Day Together

Now that my kids are adults, they don’t expect things as much as they appreciate time and experiences. Instead of a physical gift, I’ll plan a day or activity for us to enjoy together whenever we’re able to be in the same place. (Like our New York trip a couple of years ago.) It could be anything from a coffee date, a hike, or even a homemade dinner of all their favorites. The memories from a day like that? Priceless. And the best part: there’s no shipping cost involved.

The holidays can be a financial struggle, especially when you’re balancing the desire to give meaningful gifts with a budget (that $5 stash only goes so far!). The small, heartfelt gifts remind me that giving thoughtfully can mean just as much as giving lavishly—if not more. The focus should be on connection, and that’s the kind of gift that doesn’t need wrapping paper or a shipping label.

Do you have ideas to add to the list?

Hope